Can someone post a link to the cast interviews about ct and Diem cuddling when cameras are off? I love their love and anything that proves the "haters" (I'm talking to u Veronica) wrong is what I want to read right now.. Seeing Diem writhing in pain hardly able to walk will stay with my forever However knowing Ct was there for her and Johnny supporting CT makes the sadness a teeny bit more bearable.. It's like I have to prove to myself for sure that during Diems final months she thought her dream of the white picket fence with CT was actually going to come true and knowing she knew that makes my heart smile because I will always believe he was her great love and she was his.. Any links supporting this will help my own personal grief for a beautiful inspirational angel that I might not know personally but have adored her since she first appeared on FM1 and feel as I do know her.. She was the same age as I am so it's like I "grew up with her" even if just watching her compete and reading her blogs and I will remember her always ..
I want to thank one special girl on vevmo who took the time to email me and help me feel better about my grief and who reassured me of Diem and CTs love.. Not mentioning names but you know who u are and I want u to know how much I appreciate it.. Xo
Didn't mean to write a novel here lol.. Hugs to u all
Nicely written, Karisa. I did the same ~ looked at some Tweets, some DMs, some emails between us. Some made me laugh, some smile, smile tear up and some cry but they all reminded me well of Diem and some very good friends I got to know through her/because of her. I wish I could copy that beautiful photo that Mr. Chunky Express, after she died, had posted on Instagram of Diem and CT from this past summer. If ever a picture was worth a thousand words, it's that one.
I debated posting Wed morning and couldn't bring my words together so after DMing with two amazing ladies (you know who you are) I have really been able to pull all my thoughts together. I have had anxiety about these episodes since I started getting rumblings Diem was sick again. I knew something was wrong when one solo person tweeted on August 18th that CT was on a plane to NYC. Three things made me uneasy with that - 1. No way would CT/Diem be out that early. 2. Why would this person not say Diem was on the plane. 3. Why is CT going to NYC not Boston. A week later we knew why - I woke up, saw it in my Twitter feed, starting crying hyterically and said to my husband "Diem has cancer for a 3rd time, she is probably going to die. This isn't fair" Then I apologized for starting his wknd morning to me crying about someone I didn't actually know. Don't get me wrong, I 100% wanted her to pull through and I kept saying to myself over and over the next couple months - "D is a fighter, she is young, she has a huge support system and all the will in the world to want to live. She can do it". I have some real life experience and saw someone close to me die of cancer so I realistically knew the odds were not in her favor. A couple weeks prior to her death when we found out it basically spread everywhere, I still kept hoping some way she would be ok.
Tuesday I went thru and was looking at tweets I sent to Diem over those months. She said more then once in articles that the fans make her want to fight and that tweets from the fans make her happy so in a very small way I felt like I was helping when I tweeted her. I could tell when she was feeling good and when she was having trouble based on whether or not she favorited them. I still have the emails of Twitter notifying me when Diem favorited my tweets and I will never delete them.
On to the Challenge.... With all the BS speculation, articles, etc. over the past few months I really wanted to see something in these 3 episodes to show me that CT and Diem were good. I know in the grand scheme of things it is not important but as such a long time fan of the two of them I wanted to see something good to hold on too. I loved seeing her healthy and kicking butt of the Challenges in Ep 1 and part of 2. It was so overly obvious she kept trying to resist him on cameras and I was thinking - come on BM - show us something. We already knew from others on the show that they'd kiss and cuddle when the cameras weren't on. Tues night gave us raw footage. Everything you saw lastnight should answer any question anyone ever had about CT/Diem. I choose to remember them in those moments. Yes I still have thoughts about all those articles, what is real what isn't, what happen during those final months and other things people have been discussing in this forum but I am done. What we saw Tues night paired perfectly with CT's farewell post to Diem and those final moments are what I am choosing to remember.
A few other thoughts -
I liked seeing intense CT - I didn't notice it the first time through but before he went off on the producer he threw what he was eating down on the ground.
Found it funny that the male producer couldn't handle CT and the women producer took over that night.
I thought it was funny that CT turned the speaker phone off so they couldn't get on camera what Diem said to him after she said "Chris"
We have seen so many times Bananas and CT not getting along. Even when he was drunk and Johnny offered to help him pack he told him to leave him alone. That moment though when they said Diem could no longer compete and Bananas hugged CT was a nice moment. They both loved Diem and that was a common ground they always had. Also thought those moment between the two of them in the closet were very touching. Bananas was very negative about CT/Diem together on Rivals 2 - heck he even trashed their relationship on the We <3 Diem special which bugged me because I thought a lot of the other cast was being genuine in the special and he was a little bit too much in his MTV Persona at times during that special, so when he said to CT in the closet "Just you being there will help her" I loved it because we got a clip of him being real.
And finally .... the heliopter scenes bothered me. I really don't know if I needed to see those. I was actually shaking and couldn't even concentrate on the competition the first time through. Now I know they are there and as painful as they are, I keep replaying it because it is the last clips we have of her.
Nicely written, Karisa. I did the same ~ looked at some Tweets, some DMs, some emails between us. Some made me laugh, some smile, smile tear up and some cry but they all reminded me well of Diem and some very good friends I got to know through her/because of her. I wish I could copy that beautiful photo that Mr. Chunky Express, after she died, had posted on Instagram of Diem and CT from this past summer. If ever a picture was worth a thousand words, it's that one.
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That pic you are talkign about was posted on Vevmo. Probably in this thread but pretty early. Just to help your search Let me see if i can find it..OK edit i found it post 554..page 19 for me but could be different for you..If it's the one of them starring at each other with her hand on his stomach. it's a great pic though
Thanks for posting Karisa. If you actually look in the comments on his most recent picture posted 3 days ago, someone asks how CT is and he says he's doing very well. Just to answer the question asked above.
Thanks for posting Karisa. If you actually look in the comments on his most recent picture posted 3 days ago, someone asks how CT is and he says he's doing very well. Just to answer the question asked above.
Oh so CT actually replied himself and said that? The reason I ask is I know his friend, mrchunkyexpress, was asked in the last few days how CT is doing and he answered that he's doing well but had no idea CT said anything. If he did well then that makes me feel better, knowing that it came directly from him.
Thanks for posting Karisa. If you actually look in the comments on his most recent picture posted 3 days ago, someone asks how CT is and he says he's doing very well. Just to answer the question asked above.
Oh so CT actually replied himself and said that? The reason I ask is I know his friend, mrchunkyexpress, was asked in the last few days how CT is doing and he answered that he's doing well but had no idea CT said anything. If he did well then that makes me feel better, knowing that it came directly from him.
No, Mrchunky commented ct was doing very well. But i mean i dont' think he woudl post CT's not doing well he woudn't want to put that out there. I think CT is doing the best he can in the circumstance, but it's at leastt good to hear anything about him from a friend of his.
I jsut mean diem asked mrchunky (i laugh at calling him this but i dont know his name) to take care of CT for her. He woudlnt' be doing a good job of it if he's telling the public how sad and lonely ct is. So he is trying to have a positive outlook and ct does have some things going on for him Kroll show etc. so he is just trying to stay postiive for CT imo.
I really wish we could have heard Derrick talk about Diem. Derrick was the first person from the challenge to ever know she had cancer and they always had a bond. It is still hard to believe he wasn't at the funeral or on the special.
Thanks for posting Karisa. If you actually look in the comments on his most recent picture posted 3 days ago, someone asks how CT is and he says he's doing very well. Just to answer the question asked above.
Oh so CT actually replied himself and said that? The reason I ask is I know his friend, mrchunkyexpress, was asked in the last few days how CT is doing and he answered that he's doing well but had no idea CT said anything. If he did well then that makes me feel better, knowing that it came directly from him.
No, Mrchunky commented ct was doing very well. But i mean i dont' think he woudl post CT's not doing well he woudn't want to put that out there. I think CT is doing the best he can in the circumstance, but it's at leastt good to hear anything about him from a friend of his.
I jsut mean diem asked mrchunky (i laugh at calling him this but i dont know his name) to take care of CT for her. He woudlnt' be doing a good job of it if he's telling the public how sad and lonely ct is. So he is trying to have a positive outlook and ct does have some things going on for him Kroll show etc. so he is just trying to stay postiive for CT imo.
Oh okay I gotcha. Yeah I do think you make a good point that even if CT was not doing so great that Chiun-Kai would say he is doing okay anyway, so as not to worry people. Yeah I'm always calling him mrchunky as well, forgetting his name, lol. I have to say though, when I see Chiun-Kai's comment that CT is doing well....I want to believe that it's not just trying to put a positive message out there just to not worry people but that it is in fact the truth. I guess we won't truly know more about CT's state of mind until CT decides he wants to speak for himself and he might not decide to do that anytime soon. It does relieve me that we get some updates and that Chiun-Kai says to stay tuned, be patient, so it seems as if we will be hearing something else when the time is right.
Yes, this was taken before they left to film. I think either late June or in July. It's my favorite, even beats Diem Claus and CT Santa but just by a hair.
love this picture. I think it's my favorite one. When was it taken, before BOTE2 filmed?
Yes, this was taken before they left to film. I think either late June or in July. It's my favorite, even beats Diem Claus and CT Santa but just by a hair.
love this picture. I think it's my favorite one. When was it taken, before BOTE2 filmed?
It is the best picture of the two of them and just reading what Chiun said beside the picture, it's hard to keep from crying. What a powerful love they shared!! I love the way they look at one another.
As I was traveling today I passed the time reviewing this weeks episode and the story that is Diem and CT. There were a few things nagging me about their relationship that I was trying to come to terms with. I think I have some peace after giving this further thought..........there is no doubt in my mind that they were seeing one another the last year........CT was a very changed man and their both participating on BOTE2 with a known health issue tells me they talked through this together and agreed to go as a team..........the film footage and comments from cast members highlight their relationship.....CT was incredibly devoted to her, after the past 9 years of her coming into his life and then leaving I just cannot see him once again being the devoted boyfriend unless he felt it was reciprocated....I truly believe CT would not allow himself to enter this deep into the relationship unless he felt Diem was committed....he knew her history, he knew of her past boyfriend.....and if she was not devoted what boyfriend in the world would be ok with Diem going to Panama with CT? and in her condition?.....that makes zero sense.....they were in a serious relationship.
Diem had a previous long term boyfriend, he obviously loved her and her commentary about being a runaway bride tells me that they did discuss marriage......when you date for 3-4 years the topic does indeed come up.......but yet she did not allow herself to do this.....and in addition she went on BOTE's......she may have been in a serious long term relationship with a great man, but she was not fully committed.
As I previously stated I do indeed think CT and Diem lost control of the relationship after they left Panama...her family became the caretakers and friends flowed in and out.....CT was an important person but I would guess his sphere of influence highly limited....she was controlled by her disease and the battle to live......I also agree that she was trying to not hurt the people she loved including her former boyfriend......CTs natural instinct is to try and protect her but I suspect he found that severely limited......with his aggressive nature this had to be incredibly tough......I have a feeling he was tolerated only because everyone knew of Diems love for him....his deathbed proposal on two occasions were his last efforts to showcase his love for her......
Hmm, those are interesting thoughts. I agree and disagree. I do agree with you that they did lose control of the relationship after leaving Panama because yes, a whole slew of people just swarmed around Diem when she was in the hospital....family and many, many friends. I don't think CT was ever told not to be there and despite probably not having as much alone time with her as he would have liked to have....I do believe he was always there, nothing was going to keep him from her....but like you said, many others were there too. It's not like CT could have said, can so and so leave now for even just 15 minutes because that would have made him look like he was thinking more of himself than of Diem. Doing what was best for Diem had to be number one priority. Having said that, CT is only human and if I were in his position, yes I would have wanted to say to some people....give us some time please...having said that, if I were in CT's position I also would have done my very best to hold back from doing that, but doesn't mean I wouldn't have wanted to. I do believe that even with all of the chaos of the last three months and how many times she was in and out of the hospital, that it's not like there was literally no alone time between CT and Diem. I believe they did get some time together...maybe not a lot but some.
I think about the times when Diem needed to get some sleep and I'm sure there were not that many people in the room then and that is when CT could watch her sleep or have some quiet moments with her as well. Sure not much talking taking place but that doesn't matter, those were cherished moments and you could tell they had those moments judging by the picture of CT laying with his head on a pillow right next to her bed.
CT said in his message on Instagram after Diem passed that they had promised one another forever. He could have meant that they made these promises to one another before Diem got sick a third time and no doubt that they did, but what I took it to mean is that they had further conversations in the hospital where they reiterated those feelings, said it more than once, and I don't think that CT necessarily said that to her in front of a bunch of people. I'm sure people being around wouldn't have stopped him from saying it if that was the only time given to him but that just sounds like an intimacy that would have been exchanged when CT and Diem got a moment alone. Obviously once they left Panama things were never the same, your right about that, but I don't think CT was just tolerated. I do believe her family was happy to have him there....still doesn't mean they weren't going to be the ones to take over of course.
Now I don't know, maybe certain friends of Diem's could have been tolerating him, who knows....but not all friends, others were supportive. I look at it this way too, what if CT and Diem had still had feelings for one another but still had never reconciled at the time of her death and CT had to hear about her being in a grave condition via the Internet like the rest of us and couldn't even be there at all.....so things might not have been perfect and he was having to stand in line with many other people in those last months to visit her, but at least no one could have the right to barr him from seeing her. He would have really been driven nuts if he couldn't even see her under any circumstances.
I do agree with you that CT does have that aggressive nature that when it comes to Diem that his natural instinct would be to take over and say I'm going to be the one to take care of her most of all....everyone else out of the way.....but he had to step back and not try to compete with her family over who gets to do that because ultimately only Diem would have been hurt by any fighting....because CT and Diem were not married and I can see why her family gets that precedence to be the ones to make all the real important decisions and be the primary caretakers, not to mention Diem having written instructions as to who would be the ones to make the most important decisions.
I'm sure there were a gamet of emotions that CT went through in those final few months....everything from elation one minute that she made it through a surgery to worrying like crazy the next minute the next time she had to be admitted back into the hospital....to probably frustration if he wasn't able to be alone with her enough (which was something he probably had to stuff).
I think what made CT kind of temper his aggressive nature to want to take over is just the simple fact of knowing in his heart how he felt about Diem and how Diem felt about him and also probably hearing Diem ask for him many times no matter how many other people were around. CT didn't have to try to get the most alone time with Diem out of everyone that wanted to see her in order to prove his importance in Diem's life....he already knew that and she did too, so he didn't need to prove anything.
Doesn't mean he still didn't have some frustration over all the events that were happening, the rollercoaster of emotions....how events were seemingly happening that were out of his control....but I think ultimately he just knew in his heart of what they felt for one another and he knew no matter what all was happening at the hospital, all the people swarming around, that nothing diminished what he knew to be true and what she knew to be true and that was enough. He also probably had to tell himself....yes I'm frustrated but all of these people love Diem and they just want to help and have good intentions. Also he probably had to tell himself what if it was the opposite case where it was just me and Diem and no one else was stepping in to be a support system. Sure he would have done what he had to do to care for her and Chris is capable but I am sure he also would have been scared.
Anyway, disclaimer on this post....no one knows what all happened and most of this is just speculation on my part about how CT was feeling....not proclaiming to know the man....this is just my opinion, gut feeling. I made this post much longer than it had to be and addressed a lot more than what you said....I guess I just needed to get some general thoughts out of my system that I had in my head for awhile anyway.
Good commentary......I also don't know him but felt compelled to write my thoughts on what I have observed to try and make sense of this weeks last episode.......as I stated, some things just made sense to me but when I step back and process the departure point from Panama to NYC ....it does indeed become clearer.....this marked the cutover point for media reporting and "sources" being stated, there was money to be made and some outlets took full advantage (and still do today).........yet CT sends Instagrams months ago and remains radio silent which if you recall has been his position for years (mind ya business) about their relationship, that speaks volumes to me.
The entire "were they together" once she arrives in NYC gets a bit tiring.......I do look at this from the actions and they confirm to me they were indeed in a serious relationship......once she knew the facts about her condition Diem would have many thoughts about her Ex BF and CT......she was balancing the emotions between the two as they both meant a great deal to her.....add in the fact of failing health and I can see where she would not want to hurt either in the last months.....so the comments that "she was single" makes complete sense to me when you think about it in the limited days remaining.....why choose one over the other to the media in that situation? I would think her too kind to ever allow that to occur.....her memorial video highlights them both as her loves......but her confliction in life was the constant pull to CT, and to her credit she took the required steps to ensure they were in one anothers lives.
As others have stated she could have settled and married earlier, could have had children by now, but yet she did not..............then she is on a MTV show and states that she wants to get married and have children, it would be a dream come true to win the money and by her side trying to accomplish this is CT......do you really think CT is doing this to win money for Diem to allow her the dream and then she share this event with another man? That is farfetched.
This is my take on their relationship. First off If Diem was 100% happy and did not want to be with CT then why would she agree to go on Battle of the Exes 1 knowing very well her partner would be CT. The last challenge she did prior was 4 years prior where she was sent home in the first episode. The do not officially no what the format will be prior to coming on but they assume what it will be which 90% of the time they are correct based off the people who are going. I believe Diem went on to see what could maybe happen with CT because she felt that the chapter with him in her life was not yet closed based off how they last ended it. Plus she even said she wanted to be with him again in 5 years when they broke up and the figured out their lives (especially her) 5 years would be the time Battle of the Exes was film.
As far as their relationship when she passed, since Rivals 2 many people have spotted the two of them. Alicia Quarless even posted a blurry instagram photo talking about how the people walking ahead of her were so madly in love with each other and that the couple is the best example of true love. Later CT posted pictures to instagram with him wearing the same shirt the guy had on in Alicia's picture. Alicia later took the picture down (I would assume CT & Diem didn't want it up since they were holding hands and it was clear it was them). We have also seen a lot of other evidence that they were together numerous times since including him going on vacation with her family before departing to Exes 2. On Exes 2 I think it is obvious that they were together. Production showed them laughing and messing around with each other in the first two episodes which if they did not see each other since Rivals 2 they would not be that comfy with each other. When CT was told that Diem was taken to the Hospital he immediately tossed his food on the ground and went to pack his bags so he could leave and be with her. Most people wouldn't do that, plus Wes and Bananas are really really close to her and considered Diem a sister so why would they tell CT first over the other people in the hosue that she was really close to.
After she got airlifted back CT went right to New York, he could have stayed on the challenge to compete it was not that late in the game to bring a partner for him because it was not even the 3rd challenge yet I believe they may have asked CT production wise and he said he did not want to stay, I mean after all the first time she went to the hospital he was already packing his bags to leave. One of the articles stated that whenever CT was around he pampered Diem like crazy, doing her nails and even bought her a new bed to make her feel more comfortable. I am not sure about you guys but I would not buy my Ex a new expensive bed and redecorate their room if I was not with them. She spent a lot of time at home and when she was home I am guessing CT and her got a lot of alone time because her family had to keep living their life. Her sisters and dad could not just stop going to school and work. Plus I believe her younger sister goes to college in a different state. Her families work was flexible I am sure but they could not just go from August- December not working or anything. Alicia was her best friend and was still doing work things everyday. Yes people would come to visit but it is not like they would stay for a long time they would stay for a day or two. CT eventually had to start doing work things and when that happened the two would be talking all of the time. I am also sure that Diem told CT to go home because she did not seem like the kind of person who would want him to drop everything just because she was sick again. The drive between Boston and New York is 3.5 hours and the flight is an hour so it was easy for CT to go back and forth to see her. As far as her being single when she died I could see her breaking up with CT when her Cancer started getting worse because she couldn't give CT the attention she normally would. I also do think that they planned to get back together after she was better. Lastly her family and friends I do not feel like judged CT based off of anything that was shown on the challenges. With Diem being on the Challenges they knew very well they create a character and CT as everyone saw was shown as the player who slept with everyone and got in fights. Diem was the good girl but in Rivals 2 they portrayed her horribly which is why I think her family and friends were 100% aware that characters on Reality shows are edited to get people to watch. I think they ignored the Camera guy CT and let him show them who he really was. Diem was really close with her family and friends so if they did not approve and hated a guy she was with and dating then I do not think she would stay with the guy.
This is my take on their relationship. First off If Diem was 100% happy and did not want to be with CT then why would she agree to go on Battle of the Exes 1 knowing very well her partner would be CT. The last challenge she did prior was 4 years prior where she was sent home in the first episode. The do not officially no what the format will be prior to coming on but they assume what it will be which 90% of the time they are correct based off the people who are going. I believe Diem went on to see what could maybe happen with CT because she felt that the chapter with him in her life was not yet closed based off how they last ended it. Plus she even said she wanted to be with him again in 5 years when they broke up and the figured out their lives (especially her) 5 years would be the time Battle of the Exes was film.
As far as their relationship when she passed, since Rivals 2 many people have spotted the two of them. Alicia Quarless even posted a blurry instagram photo talking about how the people walking ahead of her were so madly in love with each other and that the couple is the best example of true love. Later CT posted pictures to instagram with him wearing the same shirt the guy had on in Alicia's picture. Alicia later took the picture down (I would assume CT & Diem didn't want it up since they were holding hands and it was clear it was them). We have also seen a lot of other evidence that they were together numerous times since including him going on vacation with her family before departing to Exes 2. On Exes 2 I think it is obvious that they were together. Production showed them laughing and messing around with each other in the first two episodes which if they did not see each other since Rivals 2 they would not be that comfy with each other. When CT was told that Diem was taken to the Hospital he immediately tossed his food on the ground and went to pack his bags so he could leave and be with her. Most people wouldn't do that, plus Wes and Bananas are really really close to her and considered Diem a sister so why would they tell CT first over the other people in the hosue that she was really close to.
After she got airlifted back CT went right to New York, he could have stayed on the challenge to compete it was not that late in the game to bring a partner for him because it was not even the 3rd challenge yet I believe they may have asked CT production wise and he said he did not want to stay, I mean after all the first time she went to the hospital he was already packing his bags to leave. One of the articles stated that whenever CT was around he pampered Diem like crazy, doing her nails and even bought her a new bed to make her feel more comfortable. I am not sure about you guys but I would not buy my Ex a new expensive bed and redecorate their room if I was not with them. She spent a lot of time at home and when she was home I am guessing CT and her got a lot of alone time because her family had to keep living their life. Her sisters and dad could not just stop going to school and work. Plus I believe her younger sister goes to college in a different state. Her families work was flexible I am sure but they could not just go from August- December not working or anything. Alicia was her best friend and was still doing work things everyday. Yes people would come to visit but it is not like they would stay for a long time they would stay for a day or two. CT eventually had to start doing work things and when that happened the two would be talking all of the time. I am also sure that Diem told CT to go home because she did not seem like the kind of person who would want him to drop everything just because she was sick again. The drive between Boston and New York is 3.5 hours and the flight is an hour so it was easy for CT to go back and forth to see her. As far as her being single when she died I could see her breaking up with CT when her Cancer started getting worse because she couldn't give CT the attention she normally would. I also do think that they planned to get back together after she was better. Lastly her family and friends I do not feel like judged CT based off of anything that was shown on the challenges. With Diem being on the Challenges they knew very well they create a character and CT as everyone saw was shown as the player who slept with everyone and got in fights. Diem was the good girl but in Rivals 2 they portrayed her horribly which is why I think her family and friends were 100% aware that characters on Reality shows are edited to get people to watch. I think they ignored the Camera guy CT and let him show them who he really was. Diem was really close with her family and friends so if they did not approve and hated a guy she was with and dating then I do not think she would stay with the guy.
Sorry for the big giant book.
Yes and honestly, I think this part of the discussion a bit redundant. By now, everyone (who cares or isn't in denial) knows that they got back together at some point. It's been written about and discussed and analyzed and written about some more and discussed and ananlyzed and written about some more and discussed and analyzed... mostly by the same 4 people or so. Not trying to come off snarky... it's just an observation.
I don't wish on anyone what CT has been through the last 6 years losing his brother and his true love . That's just unreal to think...I hope he can look back at hte good times and the fact that he got his dream girl and had 1.5 years of of pure happiness, although cruely cut short. I think it meant a lot to him that diem loved him back bc on the exes 1 interview (on vevmo she did) she siad he never felt like he was good enough for her. So i think he finally felt good enough in these last 2 years, and that's great
I don't wish on anyone what CT has been through the last 6 years losing his brother and his true love . That's just unreal to think...I hope he can look back at hte good times and the fact that he got his dream girl and had 1.5 years of of pure happiness, although cruely cut short. I think it meant a lot to him that diem loved him back bc on the exes 1 interview (on vevmo she did) she siad he never felt like he was good enough for her. So i think he finally felt good enough in these last 2 years, and that's great
I think that's great too! She gave him that self-belief but now he needs to hold on to it. She may not be here anymore but he needs to know that he's good enough all on his own.
I ordered my Diem shirt today from Johnny Bananas website, made me feel good to do it.
I don't wish on anyone what CT has been through the last 6 years losing his brother and his true love . That's just unreal to think...I hope he can look back at hte good times and the fact that he got his dream girl and had 1.5 years of of pure happiness, although cruely cut short. I think it meant a lot to him that diem loved him back bc on the exes 1 interview (on vevmo she did) she siad he never felt like he was good enough for her. So i think he finally felt good enough in these last 2 years, and that's great
I think that's great too! She gave him that self-belief but now he needs to hold on to it. She may not be here anymore but he needs to know that he's good enough all on his own.
I ordered my Diem shirt today from Johnny Bananas website, made me feel good to do it.
Good commentary......I also don't know him but felt compelled to write my thoughts on what I have observed to try and make sense of this weeks last episode.......as I stated, some things just made sense to me but when I step back and process the departure point from Panama to NYC ....it does indeed become clearer.....this marked the cutover point for media reporting and "sources" being stated, there was money to be made and some outlets took full advantage (and still do today).........yet CT sends Instagrams months ago and remains radio silent which if you recall has been his position for years (mind ya business) about their relationship, that speaks volumes to me.
The entire "were they together" gets a bit tiring.......I do look at this from the actions and they confirm to me they were indeed in a serious relationship......once she knew the facts about her condition Diem would have many thoughts about her Ex BF and CT......she was balancing the emotions between the two as they both meant a great deal to her.....add in the fact of failing health and I can see where she would not want to hurt either in the last months.....so the comments that "she was single" makes complete sense to me when you think about it in the limited days remaining.....why choose one over the other to the media in that situation? I would think her too kind to ever allow that to occur.....her memorial video highlights them both as her loves......but her confliction in life was the constant pull to CT, and to her credit she took the required steps to ensure they were in one anothers lives.
As others have stated she could have settled and married earlier, could have had children by now, but yet she did not..............then she is on a MTV show and states that she wants to get married and have children, it would be a dream come true to win the money and by her side trying to accomplish this is CT......do you really think CT is doing this to win money for Diem to allow her the dream and then she share this event with another man?
Good stuff....
Great post! Yes I agree that the way CT has conducted himself since Diem got sick and now after her death says a lot. He truly loves that woman....present tense, not past.
Diem did the right thing in forgiving CT and he forgave her for the past as well. I think they both were smart in realizing she could get sick again and neither one wanted it to be a situation where she got sick and they still had not come to grips with the past. They both grew up, did the right thing by each other.
I had Veronica DM me about why she tweeted what she did. I for some reason cannot post the convo on here from my iPhone. I asked why she said the relationship was fake. She said:
they had a relationship but that he milked their interactions for publicity and brought cameras around. Not sure if you can see the post I pasted. I've been on this site for years this is the first time ever posting.
I noticed the food too. I also hadn't seen CT's eyes pop out like they did this ep, in years.... so sad. One thing I wished we would have seen more of was reaction of some of the others that were close to her. In fact, I was surprised we got so many reaction shots of Jenna or Britanny when someone like Wes or Knight would have been feeling a lot at the time too. I get it was edited to show the couple, but many on the cast were close to her.
This really pissed me off too. Like all the commentary was with Nia, Britanny and someone else unimportant. Where's Wes? Nany? Zach? I mean at least someone who's been on a past challenge with her not these irrelevant new people. It was to the point where I was waiting for Simone or JJ to say something at that point. Smh, I was so annoyed.
I dont really understand how he used her for publicity and which cameras did he bring around?? Hmm
I had Veronica DM me about why she tweeted what she did. I for some reason cannot post the convo on here from my iPhone. I asked why she said the relationship was fake. She said:
they had a relationship but that he milked their interactions for publicity and brought cameras around. Not sure if you can see the post I pasted. I've been on this site for years this is the first time ever posting.
I noticed the food too. I also hadn't seen CT's eyes pop out like they did this ep, in years.... so sad. One thing I wished we would have seen more of was reaction of some of the others that were close to her. In fact, I was surprised we got so many reaction shots of Jenna or Britanny when someone like Wes or Knight would have been feeling a lot at the time too. I get it was edited to show the couple, but many on the cast were close to her.
This really pissed me off too. Like all the commentary was with Nia, Britanny and someone else unimportant. Where's Wes? Nany? Zach? I mean at least someone who's been on a past challenge with her not these irrelevant new people. It was to the point where I was waiting for Simone or JJ to say something at that point. Smh, I was so annoyed.
I agree. I'm glad they showed Bananas/CT together but I think Bananas/Wes should have been shown speaking about her a lot. Wes is like her brother and then Bananas and her actually are extremely close outside the show. Also Sarah who has known her for quite awhile would have been nice to see her commentary.
I had Veronica DM me about why she tweeted what she did. I for some reason cannot post the convo on here from my iPhone. I asked why she said the relationship was fake. She said:
they had a relationship but that he milked their interactions for publicity and brought cameras around. Not sure if you can see the post I pasted. I've been on this site for years this is the first time ever posting.
I wish I could see the conversation.
It truly bothers me that she said CT was doing anything for publicity. As far as him bringing cameras around, the only time we saw a photo of him with DIem was once and that is while they were in the hospital. Did the pic create attention; yes, but I think that was partially his attention. He was trying to bring awareness to Diem's medgift and generate traffic there in order to support DIem. Other than that, he didnt post anything disrespectful or exploitative.
I noticed the food too. I also hadn't seen CT's eyes pop out like they did this ep, in years.... so sad. One thing I wished we would have seen more of was reaction of some of the others that were close to her. In fact, I was surprised we got so many reaction shots of Jenna or Britanny when someone like Wes or Knight would have been feeling a lot at the time too. I get it was edited to show the couple, but many on the cast were close to her.
This really pissed me off too. Like all the commentary was with Nia, Britanny and someone else unimportant. Where's Wes? Nany? Zach? I mean at least someone who's been on a past challenge with her not these irrelevant new people. It was to the point where I was waiting for Simone or JJ to say something at that point. Smh, I was so annoyed.
Maybe they just didn't have good footage from other people. The ones they chose happened to be her roomates and were close with her in the house, so they were likely more concerned since no one knew how serious it was at the time? Idk
Can someone post a link to the cast interviews about ct and Diem cuddling when cameras are off? I love their love and anything that proves the "haters" (I'm talking to u Veronica) wrong is what I want to read right now.. Seeing Diem writhing in pain hardly able to walk will stay with my forever However knowing Ct was there for her and Johnny supporting CT makes the sadness a teeny bit more bearable.. It's like I have to prove to myself for sure that during Diems final months she thought her dream of the white picket fence with CT was actually going to come true and knowing she knew that makes my heart smile because I will always believe he was her great love and she was his.. Any links supporting this will help my own personal grief for a beautiful inspirational angel that I might not know personally but have adored her since she first appeared on FM1 and feel as I do know her.. She was the same age as I am so it's like I "grew up with her" even if just watching her compete and reading her blogs and I will remember her always ..
I want to thank one special girl on vevmo who took the time to email me and help me feel better about my grief and who reassured me of Diem and CTs love.. Not mentioning names but you know who u are and I want u to know how much I appreciate it.. Xo
Didn't mean to write a novel here lol.. Hugs to u all
Nicely written, Karisa. I did the same ~ looked at some Tweets, some DMs, some emails between us. Some made me laugh, some smile, smile tear up and some cry but they all reminded me well of Diem and some very good friends I got to know through her/because of her. I wish I could copy that beautiful photo that Mr. Chunky Express, after she died, had posted on Instagram of Diem and CT from this past summer. If ever a picture was worth a thousand words, it's that one.
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That pic you are talkign about was posted on Vevmo. Probably in this thread but pretty early. Just to help your search
Let me see if i can find it..OK edit i found it post 554..page 19 for me but could be different for you..If it's the one of them starring at each other with her hand on his stomach. it's a great pic though
http://instagram.com/p/veGWYywg4z/?modal=true
Thanks for posting Karisa. If you actually look in the comments on his most recent picture posted 3 days ago, someone asks how CT is and he says he's doing very well. Just to answer the question asked above.
Oh so CT actually replied himself and said that? The reason I ask is I know his friend, mrchunkyexpress, was asked in the last few days how CT is doing and he answered that he's doing well but had no idea CT said anything. If he did well then that makes me feel better, knowing that it came directly from him.
No, Mrchunky commented ct was doing very well. But i mean i dont' think he woudl post CT's not doing well he woudn't want to put that out there. I think CT is doing the best he can in the circumstance, but it's at leastt good to hear anything about him from a friend of his.
I jsut mean diem asked mrchunky (i laugh at calling him this but i dont know his name) to take care of CT for her. He woudlnt' be doing a good job of it if he's telling the public how sad and lonely ct is. So he is trying to have a positive outlook and ct does have some things going on for him Kroll show etc. so he is just trying to stay postiive for CT imo.
I really wish we could have heard Derrick talk about Diem. Derrick was the first person from the challenge to ever know she had cancer and they always had a bond. It is still hard to believe he wasn't at the funeral or on the special.
Oh okay I gotcha. Yeah I do think you make a good point that even if CT was not doing so great that Chiun-Kai would say he is doing okay anyway, so as not to worry people. Yeah I'm always calling him mrchunky as well, forgetting his name, lol. I have to say though, when I see Chiun-Kai's comment that CT is doing well....I want to believe that it's not just trying to put a positive message out there just to not worry people but that it is in fact the truth. I guess we won't truly know more about CT's state of mind until CT decides he wants to speak for himself and he might not decide to do that anytime soon. It does relieve me that we get some updates and that Chiun-Kai says to stay tuned, be patient, so it seems as if we will be hearing something else when the time is right.
Thanks, Karisa! That's the one. xo
love this picture. I think it's my favorite one. When was it taken, before BOTE2 filmed?
Yes, this was taken before they left to film. I think either late June or in July. It's my favorite, even beats Diem Claus and CT Santa but just by a hair.
Probably my favorite picture of them<3 CT and Diem forever.
It is the best picture of the two of them and just reading what Chiun said beside the picture, it's hard to keep from crying. What a powerful love they shared!! I love the way they look at one another.
I got a lovely email from Diem's friend today and if you are in NY, DC, LA or Miami you can join team DIEMSTRONG De a part of Cycle for Survival Team DIEMSTRONG - JOIN or donate to team
#DiemStrong . https://secure2.convio.net/mskcc/site/SPageServer/;jsessionid=08EEA71FAC860BA002B0182EB5F7762A.app271a?pagename=cycle_for_survival …As I was traveling today I passed the time reviewing this weeks episode and the story that is Diem and CT. There were a few things nagging me about their relationship that I was trying to come to terms with. I think I have some peace after giving this further thought..........there is no doubt in my mind that they were seeing one another the last year........CT was a very changed man and their both participating on BOTE2 with a known health issue tells me they talked through this together and agreed to go as a team..........the film footage and comments from cast members highlight their relationship.....CT was incredibly devoted to her, after the past 9 years of her coming into his life and then leaving I just cannot see him once again being the devoted boyfriend unless he felt it was reciprocated....I truly believe CT would not allow himself to enter this deep into the relationship unless he felt Diem was committed....he knew her history, he knew of her past boyfriend.....and if she was not devoted what boyfriend in the world would be ok with Diem going to Panama with CT? and in her condition?.....that makes zero sense.....they were in a serious relationship.
Diem had a previous long term boyfriend, he obviously loved her and her commentary about being a runaway bride tells me that they did discuss marriage......when you date for 3-4 years the topic does indeed come up.......but yet she did not allow herself to do this.....and in addition she went on BOTE's......she may have been in a serious long term relationship with a great man, but she was not fully committed.
As I previously stated I do indeed think CT and Diem lost control of the relationship after they left Panama...her family became the caretakers and friends flowed in and out.....CT was an important person but I would guess his sphere of influence highly limited....she was controlled by her disease and the battle to live......I also agree that she was trying to not hurt the people she loved including her former boyfriend......CTs natural instinct is to try and protect her but I suspect he found that severely limited......with his aggressive nature this had to be incredibly tough......I have a feeling he was tolerated only because everyone knew of Diems love for him....his deathbed proposal on two occasions were his last efforts to showcase his love for her......
Hmm, those are interesting thoughts. I agree and disagree. I do agree with you that they did lose control of the relationship after leaving Panama because yes, a whole slew of people just swarmed around Diem when she was in the hospital....family and many, many friends. I don't think CT was ever told not to be there and despite probably not having as much alone time with her as he would have liked to have....I do believe he was always there, nothing was going to keep him from her....but like you said, many others were there too. It's not like CT could have said, can so and so leave now for even just 15 minutes because that would have made him look like he was thinking more of himself than of Diem. Doing what was best for Diem had to be number one priority. Having said that, CT is only human and if I were in his position, yes I would have wanted to say to some people....give us some time please...having said that, if I were in CT's position I also would have done my very best to hold back from doing that, but doesn't mean I wouldn't have wanted to. I do believe that even with all of the chaos of the last three months and how many times she was in and out of the hospital, that it's not like there was literally no alone time between CT and Diem. I believe they did get some time together...maybe not a lot but some.
I think about the times when Diem needed to get some sleep and I'm sure there were not that many people in the room then and that is when CT could watch her sleep or have some quiet moments with her as well. Sure not much talking taking place but that doesn't matter, those were cherished moments and you could tell they had those moments judging by the picture of CT laying with his head on a pillow right next to her bed.
CT said in his message on Instagram after Diem passed that they had promised one another forever. He could have meant that they made these promises to one another before Diem got sick a third time and no doubt that they did, but what I took it to mean is that they had further conversations in the hospital where they reiterated those feelings, said it more than once, and I don't think that CT necessarily said that to her in front of a bunch of people. I'm sure people being around wouldn't have stopped him from saying it if that was the only time given to him but that just sounds like an intimacy that would have been exchanged when CT and Diem got a moment alone. Obviously once they left Panama things were never the same, your right about that, but I don't think CT was just tolerated. I do believe her family was happy to have him there....still doesn't mean they weren't going to be the ones to take over of course.
Now I don't know, maybe certain friends of Diem's could have been tolerating him, who knows....but not all friends, others were supportive. I look at it this way too, what if CT and Diem had still had feelings for one another but still had never reconciled at the time of her death and CT had to hear about her being in a grave condition via the Internet like the rest of us and couldn't even be there at all.....so things might not have been perfect and he was having to stand in line with many other people in those last months to visit her, but at least no one could have the right to barr him from seeing her. He would have really been driven nuts if he couldn't even see her under any circumstances.
I do agree with you that CT does have that aggressive nature that when it comes to Diem that his natural instinct would be to take over and say I'm going to be the one to take care of her most of all....everyone else out of the way.....but he had to step back and not try to compete with her family over who gets to do that because ultimately only Diem would have been hurt by any fighting....because CT and Diem were not married and I can see why her family gets that precedence to be the ones to make all the real important decisions and be the primary caretakers, not to mention Diem having written instructions as to who would be the ones to make the most important decisions.
I'm sure there were a gamet of emotions that CT went through in those final few months....everything from elation one minute that she made it through a surgery to worrying like crazy the next minute the next time she had to be admitted back into the hospital....to probably frustration if he wasn't able to be alone with her enough (which was something he probably had to stuff).
I think what made CT kind of temper his aggressive nature to want to take over is just the simple fact of knowing in his heart how he felt about Diem and how Diem felt about him and also probably hearing Diem ask for him many times no matter how many other people were around. CT didn't have to try to get the most alone time with Diem out of everyone that wanted to see her in order to prove his importance in Diem's life....he already knew that and she did too, so he didn't need to prove anything.
Doesn't mean he still didn't have some frustration over all the events that were happening, the rollercoaster of emotions....how events were seemingly happening that were out of his control....but I think ultimately he just knew in his heart of what they felt for one another and he knew no matter what all was happening at the hospital, all the people swarming around, that nothing diminished what he knew to be true and what she knew to be true and that was enough. He also probably had to tell himself....yes I'm frustrated but all of these people love Diem and they just want to help and have good intentions. Also he probably had to tell himself what if it was the opposite case where it was just me and Diem and no one else was stepping in to be a support system. Sure he would have done what he had to do to care for her and Chris is capable but I am sure he also would have been scared.
Anyway, disclaimer on this post....no one knows what all happened and most of this is just speculation on my part about how CT was feeling....not proclaiming to know the man....this is just my opinion, gut feeling. I made this post much longer than it had to be and addressed a lot more than what you said....I guess I just needed to get some general thoughts out of my system that I had in my head for awhile anyway.
Good commentary......I also don't know him but felt compelled to write my thoughts on what I have observed to try and make sense of this weeks last episode.......as I stated, some things just made sense to me but when I step back and process the departure point from Panama to NYC ....it does indeed become clearer.....this marked the cutover point for media reporting and "sources" being stated, there was money to be made and some outlets took full advantage (and still do today).........yet CT sends Instagrams months ago and remains radio silent which if you recall has been his position for years (mind ya business) about their relationship, that speaks volumes to me.
The entire "were they together" once she arrives in NYC gets a bit tiring.......I do look at this from the actions and they confirm to me they were indeed in a serious relationship......once she knew the facts about her condition Diem would have many thoughts about her Ex BF and CT......she was balancing the emotions between the two as they both meant a great deal to her.....add in the fact of failing health and I can see where she would not want to hurt either in the last months.....so the comments that "she was single" makes complete sense to me when you think about it in the limited days remaining.....why choose one over the other to the media in that situation? I would think her too kind to ever allow that to occur.....her memorial video highlights them both as her loves......but her confliction in life was the constant pull to CT, and to her credit she took the required steps to ensure they were in one anothers lives.
As others have stated she could have settled and married earlier, could have had children by now, but yet she did not..............then she is on a MTV show and states that she wants to get married and have children, it would be a dream come true to win the money and by her side trying to accomplish this is CT......do you really think CT is doing this to win money for Diem to allow her the dream and then she share this event with another man? That is farfetched.
Good stuff....
This is my take on their relationship. First off If Diem was 100% happy and did not want to be with CT then why would she agree to go on Battle of the Exes 1 knowing very well her partner would be CT. The last challenge she did prior was 4 years prior where she was sent home in the first episode. The do not officially no what the format will be prior to coming on but they assume what it will be which 90% of the time they are correct based off the people who are going. I believe Diem went on to see what could maybe happen with CT because she felt that the chapter with him in her life was not yet closed based off how they last ended it. Plus she even said she wanted to be with him again in 5 years when they broke up and the figured out their lives (especially her) 5 years would be the time Battle of the Exes was film.
As far as their relationship when she passed, since Rivals 2 many people have spotted the two of them. Alicia Quarless even posted a blurry instagram photo talking about how the people walking ahead of her were so madly in love with each other and that the couple is the best example of true love. Later CT posted pictures to instagram with him wearing the same shirt the guy had on in Alicia's picture. Alicia later took the picture down (I would assume CT & Diem didn't want it up since they were holding hands and it was clear it was them). We have also seen a lot of other evidence that they were together numerous times since including him going on vacation with her family before departing to Exes 2. On Exes 2 I think it is obvious that they were together. Production showed them laughing and messing around with each other in the first two episodes which if they did not see each other since Rivals 2 they would not be that comfy with each other. When CT was told that Diem was taken to the Hospital he immediately tossed his food on the ground and went to pack his bags so he could leave and be with her. Most people wouldn't do that, plus Wes and Bananas are really really close to her and considered Diem a sister so why would they tell CT first over the other people in the hosue that she was really close to.
After she got airlifted back CT went right to New York, he could have stayed on the challenge to compete it was not that late in the game to bring a partner for him because it was not even the 3rd challenge yet I believe they may have asked CT production wise and he said he did not want to stay, I mean after all the first time she went to the hospital he was already packing his bags to leave. One of the articles stated that whenever CT was around he pampered Diem like crazy, doing her nails and even bought her a new bed to make her feel more comfortable. I am not sure about you guys but I would not buy my Ex a new expensive bed and redecorate their room if I was not with them. She spent a lot of time at home and when she was home I am guessing CT and her got a lot of alone time because her family had to keep living their life. Her sisters and dad could not just stop going to school and work. Plus I believe her younger sister goes to college in a different state. Her families work was flexible I am sure but they could not just go from August- December not working or anything. Alicia was her best friend and was still doing work things everyday. Yes people would come to visit but it is not like they would stay for a long time they would stay for a day or two. CT eventually had to start doing work things and when that happened the two would be talking all of the time. I am also sure that Diem told CT to go home because she did not seem like the kind of person who would want him to drop everything just because she was sick again. The drive between Boston and New York is 3.5 hours and the flight is an hour so it was easy for CT to go back and forth to see her. As far as her being single when she died I could see her breaking up with CT when her Cancer started getting worse because she couldn't give CT the attention she normally would. I also do think that they planned to get back together after she was better. Lastly her family and friends I do not feel like judged CT based off of anything that was shown on the challenges. With Diem being on the Challenges they knew very well they create a character and CT as everyone saw was shown as the player who slept with everyone and got in fights. Diem was the good girl but in Rivals 2 they portrayed her horribly which is why I think her family and friends were 100% aware that characters on Reality shows are edited to get people to watch. I think they ignored the Camera guy CT and let him show them who he really was. Diem was really close with her family and friends so if they did not approve and hated a guy she was with and dating then I do not think she would stay with the guy.
Sorry for the big giant book.
Yes and honestly, I think this part of the discussion a bit redundant. By now, everyone (who cares or isn't in denial) knows that they got back together at some point. It's been written about and discussed and analyzed and written about some more and discussed and ananlyzed and written about some more and discussed and analyzed... mostly by the same 4 people or so. Not trying to come off snarky... it's just an observation.
I don't wish on anyone what CT has been through the last 6 years losing his brother and his true love . That's just unreal to think...I hope he can look back at hte good times and the fact that he got his dream girl and had 1.5 years of of pure happiness, although cruely cut short. I think it meant a lot to him that diem loved him back bc on the exes 1 interview (on vevmo she did) she siad he never felt like he was good enough for her. So i think he finally felt good enough in these last 2 years, and that's great
I think that's great too! She gave him that self-belief but now he needs to hold on to it. She may not be here anymore but he needs to know that he's good enough all on his own.
I ordered my Diem shirt today from Johnny Bananas website, made me feel good to do it.
I ordered a Diem shirt too! #DiemStrong<3
Great post! Yes I agree that the way CT has conducted himself since Diem got sick and now after her death says a lot. He truly loves that woman....present tense, not past.
Diem did the right thing in forgiving CT and he forgave her for the past as well. I think they both were smart in realizing she could get sick again and neither one wanted it to be a situation where she got sick and they still had not come to grips with the past. They both grew up, did the right thing by each other.
I had Veronica DM me about why she tweeted what she did. I for some reason cannot post the convo on here from my iPhone. I asked why she said the relationship was fake. She said:
they had a relationship but that he milked their interactions for publicity and brought cameras around. Not sure if you can see the post I pasted. I've been on this site for years this is the first time ever posting.
This really pissed me off too. Like all the commentary was with Nia, Britanny and someone else unimportant. Where's Wes? Nany? Zach? I mean at least someone who's been on a past challenge with her not these irrelevant new people. It was to the point where I was waiting for Simone or JJ to say something at that point. Smh, I was so annoyed.
I dont really understand how he used her for publicity and which cameras did he bring around?? Hmm
I agree. I'm glad they showed Bananas/CT together but I think Bananas/Wes should have been shown speaking about her a lot. Wes is like her brother and then Bananas and her actually are extremely close outside the show. Also Sarah who has known her for quite awhile would have been nice to see her commentary.
I wish I could see the conversation.
It truly bothers me that she said CT was doing anything for publicity. As far as him bringing cameras around, the only time we saw a photo of him with DIem was once and that is while they were in the hospital. Did the pic create attention; yes, but I think that was partially his attention. He was trying to bring awareness to Diem's medgift and generate traffic there in order to support DIem. Other than that, he didnt post anything disrespectful or exploitative.
Maybe they just didn't have good footage from other people. The ones they chose happened to be her roomates and were close with her in the house, so they were likely more concerned since no one knew how serious it was at the time? Idk
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