[I]This week's Episode[/I]
[CENTER][B]"I Ain't Afraid of No Ghost"[/B][/CENTER]
Someone please, pretty please with cheese, call Bill Murray, text message Dan Akroyd, demand they visit Sydney (not Sybney) and bring their proton packs because there is an evil paranormal spirit looming and lurking in the Real World house. It's the Ghost of Trishmas Past (yeah, I know) and she's found a host body named Dunbar.
[CENTER][IMG]http://vevmo.com/images/rw19.jpg[/IMG]
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Okay, Dunbar has treated his girlfriend, his relationship, the concept of monogamy, and every girl in the house, with an extremely handicapped version of respect (cue Aretha Franklin) that he maliciously demands from other people. It's not only insulting that he vocally expresses his idiotic qualms, but he goes the extra mile by overstating the obvious and the obvious is that he's irritated about something.
Funny coincidence, he's the one (Dunbar) that says, "and start getting real" during the intro. That aside, the group goes back to work.
Thank you Mtv for reminding us the roommates have jobs and thanks again for showing previous footage of Dunbar flying off the handle over common, petty issues in the house. LOUD NOISES!!! Even a person who only watched this episode would pickup on his ************* in the first 30 seconds after the intro when the roomies all head off to their cush, almost-jobs at Contiki. He starts barking orders, "keys", "head to the door", "get in the car", "I am Lothar of the Hill People".
After being filled in on the previously ignored facet of the show's dynamic, the two respective teams returned home from work to plan their itineraries, but Cohutta & kelly anne's Siamese twin siesta is counterproductive to Dunbar winning a trip to Europe. Ashli's team appears to have a stronger grasp on the ***ignment, has intimidated the opposition, and Isaac teasing Dummybear about it didn't help much. Ha, a postcard.
Ashli 1, Dunbar 0
In hopes of getting Cohutta awake, Dungbar tries to make coffee.
News flash, everyone stop what you're doing, Dunbar's pissed because some thoughtless, less considerate, and less comp***ionate person might get to visit Europe instead of him. He's livid about a damn coffee maker, for which he doesn't own or hasn't even purchased as a wedding gift. Supposedly it's Parisa's fault, even though she obviously isn't the only one who enjoys coffee.
Instead of cleaning the coffee maker, or asking Parisa if she'll clean it, he becomes a nutritionist and a caffeine-ologist, whines, and makes claims that "4, 5, 6 expresso drinks a day is unhealthy". Pssst...it's spelled e-s-p-r-e-s-s-o jerk-knot. Then Ashli, disagrees with him, they get in an argument, he thinks his opinion is a quote from an almanac, and Ashli says she doesn't care and doesn't want to talk about it, leaving the room while he tries to read an instruction manual. I think that's the real reason he's pissed, he's being forced to read.
Ashli 2, Dunbar 0
Whatever happened to cl***ical conditioning? The dog craps on the floor, you rub his nose in it. So, the next tome he goes on a tirade over toast crumbs being in the [I]I Can't Believe It's Not Butter[/I], rub his nose in dog feces.
The next day, Dunbar confronts Ashli about last night rather than their real situation (coward). By overstating his point about why he was upset over the coffee maker (she doesn't even care why), rocking back and forth in his chair like a ticking time bomb, Dunbar fails to apologize, but tries to justify his ill minded actions and cheap words with more cheap words.
They start to argue in a childish and somehow attractively marketed ************. She tried to talk calmly and he became defensive. BUT (and it's an overweight taxicab driver's type of but) Dunbar thinks he's right about something. That something is called a chip on his shoulder. That chip he's been carrying, since he was how old, has become the thorn in the side's of, now, seven other people (that's including all housemates to come and go since I'm sure they've all been effected). Who can argue with his logic.
Dunbar: "that's not me *****ing that's me being irritated". Ashli's puts him in his place by telling him he's always irritated.
He calls he a *****, storms out of the room babbling incoherent half sentences as she laughs at him.
Ashli 3, Dunbar 0
Then, in his blind fury of expressing his repressed, roided soul in his online blog or personal diary, DB is in awe why a few ink pens are missing when he lives with six other people. He calls Julie on the phone, calls all of the girls in the house "*******", and if Julie weren't as dumb as a brick she'd see what was happening.
Later, he gets a hair in his *** after discussing team troubles where Isaac touts Ashli as MVP of his team.
Ashli 4, Dunbar 0
He corrals Isaac and Cohutta into riding around town with him. The boys walk around some cliffs and Cohutta doesn't look before he leaps (that's key to both of their romantic situations) from an 8 foot drop and sprains his poor little po-dunk ankle.
And now for something completely the same. Dunbar is mad again, this time he's accusing a petite girl of squaring her shoulders and almost, sorta, kinda, hypothetically, running into him. How is that in any way threatening? Thank God he narrowly avoided her "at the last second" (like they were two **** airplanes) or else his nuclear warhead of machismo, monster truck masculinity would have decimated her dainty frame into nothingness. Thank God for Dunbar.
Well, it gets better. Ashli owns him, threatens to expose him and he shuts his trap.
Ashli 4, Dunbar 0
Later, the three girls discuss Dunbar and his behavior, how Ashli owned him, and they bond in a brunette-i-fied stand. I'm glad the girls are getting along.
Noirin arrives and Dunbar continues to gloat over his ******* tactics, dancing around his sexual prowess, bragging about his now defunct power over Ashli, and says the dumbest **** thing anyone has every said about themselves.
"I'm one of the most considerate, thoughtful, and comp***ionate human beings I have ever come across"
Hi Dunbar, I'm your alienated friend [I]common sense[/I], and I'm sorry, but that asinine statement you've so eloquently hog-slopped out of your high-falooting Georgian mouth is reserved for other people to say about you.
Your blindingly moronic view on personal narcissism has melded your once naive brain into horse shit. BUT let's stay with him on this and ask, "When exactly did he come across himself"? Yesterday, five years ago, or when he popped out of his mother's womb? Maybe the self realization came to him when he was ************ in a closet listening to his own voice moaning his own name as he gazed into a mirror admiring his doe-like eyes. Maybe there's room for a more suitable innuendo. I'll leave that up to you guys though.
I imagined an award ceremony...
And the 2007 Bonehead Statement of the Year Award goes to (opening the gluey, flap of the envelope and crinkling its form)...Dunbar! Cue the crickets and the one audience member, Julie, applauding.
