The Real World: Portland - Bondage, Butts and Burlesque

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Quick things I totally missed: - That whole situation with Jordan in the club with that one hipster girl and her husband was so weird! I thought he would have been invited for a threesome. It really didn't sink in until after the episode. - Besides the new confessionals. I love the touch of the elevator, it's very RW Chicago.
The first half of the episode started off kind of slow but it definitely picked up by the middle. So far this looks like it's gonna be a really good season.
[QUOTE=Nostalgic;338605]I love Marlon already. Swift last season was sexy but his personality and his anger was trifle. With Marlon he has everything working for him.[/QUOTE] Dude, Swift was NOT sexy. He was short and spoke like he had a speech impediment... but he didn't actually have one. [QUOTE=Koala;338681]Daisy is definitely my favorite cast member. Hope she is willing to do a challenge. :wink:[/QUOTE] That joke got tired a while ago. Joi is prettier on video than in pictures. And she's level-headed and confident, that's very attractive. Averey's very cute. Having a dog in the house would be an issue if I was her roommate though. They don't have actual doors so Daisy can go in your room when you're not there, sit on your bed, **** on your stuff... Nasty. Jessica in a thong bikini. Classy... Yo Marlon just got naked in front of them LMAO wow. But he slapped that girl's *** in the club SMH I hate when random guys do that. Jordan's funny and very upfront. But he seems to have a huge problem with rejection. Ana's a little uptight, but I like her, she stands up for herself. I think she has some self-esteem issues though (especially after I watched the after-show).
Great first episode. This is the first cast in a long time that would love to hang out with, and I feel thats a big factor in the show being successful.
[QUOTE=YvanEhtNioj;338682]I have a feeling that it may be revealed later that Ana has had an eating disorder or some other type of body issue in the past..that "booty rank" thing hit way too close to home for her, it seems.[/QUOTE] I know right? [QUOTE=CherryPie;338705]Dude, Swift was NOT sexy. He was short and spoke like he had a speech impediment... but he didn't actually have one.[/QUOTE] Yes he was sexy thank you very much. And for you to say what you are saying about people with speech impediments is very shocking, rude and disrespectful. Also just because he was short, like marlon, doesn't make him any less attractive going by what you are saying
[QUOTE=Nostalgic;338722]And for you to say what you are saying about people with speech impediments is very shocking, rude and disrespectful. Also just because he was short, like marlon, doesn't make him any less attractive going by what you are saying[/QUOTE] You're right, it was very rude and disrespectful to people with speech impediments, I apologize. What I meant was I couldn't understand him. And to clarify, I did not find Swift attractive and didn't like him at all, but it wasn't because I couldn't understand him. I wrongfully used it as an insult. Marlon isn't that short, his football rooster lists him as 5'11 and 6'. The girls that are around him are tall.
:( I just noticed when Jordan and Ana are shouting at each other, Daisy is all cowered up in the corner scared ****less, poor thing.
Someone call PETA, or what ever your supposed to do.
Quote button's not working right now, but in terms of the person who said Ana probably has an eating disorder and that's probably why she didn't like the butt comments, I could have told you that just by looking at the damn girl
Just caught the episode on MTV.com. I thought it was alright...cast seems more likable than St. Thomas so far. All the girls are attractive, especially Averey, but I get an Angelina from Jersey Shore vibe from Anastasia...was not a fan of hers. The guys seem alright too, Jordan clearly has a psycho-switch.
"I could have told you that just by looking at the damn girl" Looks are deceiving.
"I could have told you that just by looking at the damn girl" Looks are deceiving. CherryPie you're right 5'11 or 6'1 isn't that short. I'm tripping.
Just watched and very excited for this season! First, Avery/Johnny are very cute together and are my current favorites. The entire cast was likable as well, Anastasia was in the right though for the second situation. Jordan, while a psycho, is damn hot. Oh and I cannot even begin to explain how pumped I am for Nia. This girl looks to make Maria, Laurel, etc. look like puppy dogs. Can't wait for more drama!
I <3 Jessica. The girl is an absolute bombshell. I'm so happy to see a thicker-ish (not insulting the girl I just mean she's not another generic twig) girl on the show. Lord have mercy that bikini she had on was hot. Def my favorite girl in the house after watching the premiere.
I liked the whole cast equally first episode. No one rubbed me the wrong way & thus far they are all likable, but I am sure that changes.
Nia's take on the first episode. She talks about her fight with Averey and gives away a ton of spoilers. Look at the comments, Joi isn't happy lol [url=http://www.spreecast.com/events/hang-with-real-world-portlands-nia]Hang with Real World Portland's Nia - Spreecast[/url]
This was quite good, a lot better than I expected.
so what exactly caused the averey/nia fight?
Something I just noticed is that for the first time in a few seasons nobody was seen on the phone giving stereotypical descriptions of the housemates like say in seasons past. I liked that. It made it more believable and real.
[QUOTE]Last weekend, MTV programming suits ran back The Real World: New York, San Francisco, and Las Vegas to whet the appetite for this week’s debut of The Real World: Portland. It was a genius move. I may or may not have watched 12 episodes of that **** and I may or may not have remembered every single scene from a reality show 20 years ago even though it takes me five seconds to recall my own Social Security number. The weekend was great, but it also served as a reminder of how damn good the show used to be. After a couple of “I think I may finally be out on this show” seasons in San Diego and St. Thomas, the franchise needed a breakout performance and planned accordingly. The first thing they did, as they should every season, was stack the cast with hyper-attractive young men and women who all share a penchant for getting drunk, getting naked, and getting into senseless, passionate altercations with each other. The second thing they did, as they should every season, is add a wild-card, midseason roommate. It also doesn’t hurt that the wild-card, midseason roommate is named “Hurricane” Nia and in the first 20 seconds of the “This season on” she threw George Foreman haymakers at 63 percent of the cast ... in her underwear. In fact, I’m not sure I even saw “Hurricane” Nia in street clothes during the entire clip. As far as I know now “Hurricane” Nia is perpetually mid-punch and perpetually in her skivvies. What Andrew Wiggins is to the NBA, “Hurricane” Nia is to MTV. As we always do when we add a new show, we made up a bunch of dumb rules: The Real World: Portland Show-Specific Rules: • Hooking up with a roommate on the first episode: 20 points per roommate (in addition to any kissing or coitus points) • Being lectured about hygiene or cleanliness: 20 points • Boasting about having masturbated: 10 points • Being accused of unsavory bowel moment: 10 points • Borrowing a condom: 10 points • Hooking up with members of both sexes in a single episode: 25 points • Hooking up with a member of the production crew: 50 points • Playing an awkward game of billiards with someone you've cuckolded: 50 points • Getting handcuffed on-camera: 35 points • Being the cause of a visit from any vehicle with sirens: 35 points • Mentioning “hipsters”: 5 points • Throwing a punch that gets freeze-framed as the final shot of an episode: 35 points • Parent intoxication: 15 points (for roommate) • Leaving the show for dubious personal reasons, then returning later: 25 points • Mistaking Portland for Seattle: -10 points • Being intoxicated at work: 10 points • Being told “this is your last warning” by your employer: 15 points • Riding a fixed-gear bicycle (first time only): -10 points • Getting a tattoo: -5 points • Getting a tattoo that you will regret within a year: 25 points • Sleeping with a member of the Trail Blazers: 100 points • Sleeping with a member of the Timbers: 200 points Then we divvied up the desperate. The Real World: Portland Draft Results: 1. House: Nia 2. Connor: Marlon 3. Jay: Jessica 4. Bill: Anastasia 5. Jacoby: Jordan and Johnny 6. Lisanti: Averey and Joi Now that all of that's out of the way, we can finally play with our new GRTFL toys. Top Scorers: Johnny and Averey (Real World, Jacoby and Lisanti), 25 points: The show starts by introducing us to the attractive, ethnically ambiguous Averey. Immediately, she puts it all on the table, “I love Hooters, I mean, it pays my bills, I wouldn’t survive without Hooters.” Averey, YOU CAN SURVIVE WITHOUT HOOTERS. Professional accomplishments aside, we learned a lot about Averey this episode. In fact, even though it's early in the column, we're going to kick things off with the GRTFL Top Five. This week’s are the Top Five Things We Learned About Averey From One Episode That Have My Expectations For Her Super High listed from, “That's pretty much par for the Real World course” to “At first I was making fun of her, now I'm intimidated by her:” 5. The Whole Hooters Thing: There are women who work at Hooters and then there are Hooters Girls. Women who work at Hooters are waitresses that happen to work at a place where they have to wear a silly uniform, dish out mediocre hot wings, and be subjected to consistent sexual harassment. Hooters Girls, on the other hand, are women who proudly don the orange and white, flirt for a living, and fold the fact that they work at Hooters into their personality. Averey is very much the latter. There is no shame in her wang-slangin’ game. She owns it. She follows the trail blazed by The Real World: Cancun’s Emilee. Not only are they both Hooters servers turned Real World cast members, both of their first names read like typos. Brief side note on the Hooters thing, CAN WE UPDATE THE UNIFORM SOCKS PLEASE? Still with the cable-knit sweater Jazzercise jammies? Really? Was this ever even a thing outside of Flashdance? I enjoy poppin’ in Hooters every now and again, and every time find my experience tainted by those terrible bunchy socks ... and the fact that the wings taste like science class. 4. She Is NOT Going To Fall In Love and All The Roommates Aren’t Her Type: Here’s the thing, if you say on the first episode of a reality show “It’s not like I’m going to fall in love in three months” ... there is 100 percent chance you are going to fall in love in three months. And when you say of your roommates that “no one is your type” ... there is 100 percent chance you are going to make out with one of them your second night in the house (5 points + 20-point “roommate on first episode" bonus). I like her and the requisite M******* Johnny as a couple, but I just don’t see it lasting. There is a pretty large beauty gap there, and I can’t see him bridging it with charm. 3. This Conversation: Averey: “I had a stepdad, but not anymore. My real dad is an alcoholic ...” Anastasia: “So is mine!” Both: [HUGE high five.] 2. She Understands Men: “Johnny says he likes me for me. I don’t trust boys. Boys will say anything to get in your pants, basically.” That statement is a fafillion percent accurate. A fafillion. 1. She Likes Sex, For Real: This is from her bio: “Averey will be the first to admit that she's extremely sexual and will try anything once. When it comes to sex, she's insatiable which both excites and scares her housemate Johnny.” I don’t know what Johnny is so scared about! He's hooking up with a woman that he lives with, he “isn’t her type,” she is “extremely sexual and will try anything once,” “insatiable,” and goes topless in her Twitter avatar. WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG? The best part about this new cast is that I'm already fired up about it and we haven’t even addressed the Playboy bunny, “Hurricane” Nia, or the linebacker/rapper/indecent exposerer. Let’s get to the indecent exposerer next. Marlon (Real World, Connor), 25 points: Marlon is not a grower. In his second day in the house, while Averey and Anastasia were in the bathroom conversating with him, Marlon stepped out of the shower, dropped his towel, and then put his drawers on (20 points). This is no contest the GTRFL Questionable Moment of The Week: Why did he do that? Does it normally take him 10 seconds to put his drawers on? Did he think the women would find that attractive? Serious question alert: COULD THEY HAVE PRESSED CHARGES AGAINST HIM? What would be his defense? Does MTV have a policy on this? Is the policy to discourage or encourage it? Was it necessary for MTV to make the black censorship bar that big? Why did Averey pretend she didn’t see it when she clearly took a peek? How does Kobe feel about his nickname “The Black Mamba” being repurposed in such a manner? Does Kobe watch The Real World? Why hasn’t a rogue editor at Bunim/Murray made the unedited, black-market Real World/The Challenge four-hour nudity mixtape that Bill has been talking about for a decade? How much would you pay for that? Would you think less of me if my answer had four digits? I may or may not have just gone down a YouTube hole that included our friend Marlon’s music video, his YouTube channel, and a near 90-minute “live” clip of him and Anastasia that was basically Grantland Live but better organized and with better furniture. That being said, I still can’t decide which was harder on the eyes, Bill’s couch, or the friend that Marlon made out with this episode (5 points). Actually, definitely the former. Jordan (Real World, Jacoby), 10 points: Marlon was not alone in his adventures with the facially less-fortunate. Jordan also dabbled in a bit of dance-floor tongue dangling (5 points) and he and Marlon convinced their new friends to come back to the house with them for a dip in the hot tub. In a brief private moment, the two had this exchange: Marlon: “We hit the right point.” Jordan: “The right point where they look good?” Marlon: “No, they don’t look good ... at all.” They ended up recruiting Johnny to play bad cop and abruptly ask the ladies to leave. The whole situation was not handled with grace and class — and that fact did not go unnoticed by Anastasia, who confronted Jordan about his treatment of the ladies (5 points). Their argument immediately devolved to the point where Jordan poured Anastasia’s wine cup on the floor, semi-requesting that she die. Anastasia, not to be out-crazied, mentioned the fact that he has a stump for a hand. It was like each of them had decided they were going to be the crazy one in the house and had to keep calling the other’s insanity raise to stick to the narrative. I can’t wait until “Hurricane” Nia arrives and teaches these two a lesson in crazyocity. In the “This season on,” “Hurricane” Nia brandishes a desk lamp as a weapon and later sucker punches a chick in the back of the head. I love “Hurricane” Nia so much that I haven’t even Googled her yet. I am savoring the mystique. [/QUOTE] [URL="http://www.grantland.com/blog/hollywood-prospectus/post/_/id/72416/grantland-reality-fantasy-league-hurricane-nia-makes-landfall"]via[/URL]
You probably should've just posted the link because nobody is gonna read all that.
[QUOTE=Nostalgic;338864]You probably should've just posted the link because nobody is gonna read all that.[/QUOTE] I read it all.
Have to say im not feeling this season after the first episode. Not really sure why but I dont particularly like anyone. Dont really dislike anyone either but just feel indifferent to them. Hopefully that changes.
Not sure why but I actually really enjoyed the first episode. Definitely better than SD 2 or St Thomas imo. Also, I really like Jordan. I always seam to like the a holes and he definitely seams to be one lol. However I don't think I'll like this Nia girl. I hope she doesn't ruin this season. And did anyone else think the scene where Anastasia was mad that Marlon ranked the girls based on looks was kinda hypocritical of her? Isn't she a model? Yet she doesn't want to be judged by her looks?
This season is such a refreshing breath of air compared to the atrocity of casts SD2 and St. Thomas had. I know it's only the first episode but thus far the cast is ten times more likable and entertaining than anyone appearing on the last 2 outings. At first glance I was sure I wouldn't like Johnny but he comes across as being sweet and a down to Earth fun loving dude. As long as we don't get whining over dramatic males like Brandon, wall paper boring females that entirely define themselves based on men like Laura, or ignorant house recluses like Zach and Ashley, the cast is a win for me. Edit: Oh, ya, no way I could leave Frank out of the last part, my bad on that one. No ******* human beings on the show either please.

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