Yah, the last obstacle was relatively easy in comparison to everything else, but I won't lie, I was relieved to see that it was. Wes looked gassed when they got there and I don't think he would have been much helpful had they needed to do that much digging, whereas Johnny said he was getting a second wind when they were moving those body bags. Whether or not that second wind would still be useful for a longer digging session, I don't know, but I wouldn't take the chance.
[QUOTE=Benfiquista;369433]I wanted Rivals 2 to be better than Battle of the Seasons 2, but sadly BOTS2 tops Rivals2. The only thing I disliked about BOTS2 was not enough veterans. With Rivals 2 it's a whole list: Way too soon for a second installment, too many farfetched "rivalries", and boring daily missions and elimination rounds. However, I will say I liked this final challenge more than BOTS2. IMO Challenge twenty-four was just screaming out for Gauntlet 4. They easily could've done veterans vs. rookies because they had eight male veterans and rookies and ten female veterans and six female rookies. Just send two vet girls back and bring in two more rookie girls. Hopefully the next challenge will be Duel 3 or a team challenge. I don't want to see another pairs challenge for a while.[/QUOTE]
battle of the season 2 sucked this was way better compared to that challenge.
[QUOTE=JL81790;369005]Paula's my favorite girl on the shows. I don't care.
And I've been in love with Emily for a while. So I'm happy.[/QUOTE]i like paula also and emily is my favorite.
[QUOTE=Debut Album;369463]Hope Next time Johnny is not on at all.[/QUOTE]
For me, I don't know what would be better, if he didn't show up at all or if he did show up but got eliminated first, hmmm it's hard to decide
Awesome episode, I really like that this is a more balanced final challenge, instead on being 100% physical endurance. This really made it fairer for Cara Maria that does not excel physical but is good at puzzles. I think this is a fresh twist to the show as most final challenges relied to much on running, it felt more about mental ability.
Morever, epic and fair ending this one of best conclusions to that show that made me really happy as I felt that the people who deserved to win actually won. Great to see Paula win again Rivals must be her favourite format as her having strong teammates(Evelyn and Emily) really bring the best of her. In addition, Emily made a excellent partner to Paula.
Finally YES! Wes WON AGAIN! After years of watching the show expecting Wes to win for a second time he finally pulls it off. Watching Wes go from stellar performances on Fresh meat 1 and Duel I to his decline on the ruins and his lackluster defeats on Exes and seasons made me sad as he is my favourite cast member. I really think Wes should just "quit on top" now as he said on the Duel I interview, just like Brad it feels like his challenge career has come a full circle and he has gotten rid of the JEK shadow, defeating Johnny for one last time. I think that the JEK mainly dominated team formats(Inferno,Island,Ruins and fresh meat) but when a new format like Rivals or Exes comes along they lose their power even duel II with Evan having to go in multiple times.
However, it is strange to see how Wes's personality has radically changed, kinda wish that cocky Wes(Duel I) would show up to celebrate his victory. The only time he was annoying was on Rivals I with the Cara Maria accident, it really felt that he had change from funny to someone unlikable. It is also interesting that the only time that show does not focus on Wes(Ruins and Fresh Meat) he ends up winning, he pretty much laid low the whole time and there was more focus on CT.If you notice most of the time that Wes is mentioned in one way or another it is usually in the context of commenting about CT. Also congrats to CT for finally winning, it's great to see him on that spot, however, I think he would have won a long time ago haven't it been for him getting kicked out most of the time he lost not for competition wise but for not being there.
I enjoyed this episode, it showed that CT and Wes won fair and square. From what I understand, Wes and CT won the puzzle challenge in the last episode by 1.5 hours, they didn't get a head start on the second part of this challenge. They all started out on even ground. A much deserved win!
[QUOTE=Benfiquista;369433]I wanted Rivals 2 to be better than Battle of the Seasons 2, but sadly BOTS2 tops Rivals2. [B]The only thing I disliked about BOTS2 was not enough veterans.[/B] With Rivals 2 it's a whole list: Way too soon for a second installment, too many farfetched "rivalries", and boring daily missions and elimination rounds. However, I will say I liked this final challenge more than BOTS2. IMO Challenge twenty-four was just screaming out for Gauntlet 4. They easily could've done veterans vs. rookies because they had eight male veterans and rookies and ten female veterans and six female rookies. Just send two vet girls back and bring in two more rookie girls. Hopefully the next challenge will be Duel 3 or a team challenge. I don't want to see another pairs challenge for a while.[/QUOTE]
That was one of the best things about that season.
So I'm sure no one will care, but I wanted to see how fast I could do the math if I had to (except that I'm sitting here at a desk, in comfortable temperatures, using a pen and paper), only to find out that the equation doesn't work. It's ridiculously close and if I were them I would've just said screw it and gone with 184 anyway, but the numbers don't actually line up
This is probably how they went about it since they wouldn't be able to take the big square root
75^2 + 168^2 = c^2
c^2 = [B]33,849[/B]
Then they'd had to square each option (I skipped over 154 since it can't be smaller, not sure if Emily picked up on that). The answer that they went with was 184 but...
184^2 = [B]33,856[/B]...the real square root of 33,849, granted, is 183.98, but the number still wouldn't have worked out. Clearly it wound up not being a big deal but I would've been annoyed while doing it.
[QUOTE=JL81790;369615]So I'm sure no one will care, but I wanted to see how fast I could do the math if I had to (except that I'm sitting here at a desk, in comfortable temperatures, using a pen and paper), only to find out that the equation doesn't work. It's ridiculously close and if I were them I would've just said screw it and gone with 184 anyway, but the numbers don't actually line up
This is probably how they went about it since they wouldn't be able to take the big square root
75^2 + 168^2 = c^2
c^2 = [B]33,849[/B]
Then they'd had to square each option (I skipped over 154 since it can't be smaller, not sure if Emily picked up on that). The answer that they went with was 184 but...
184^2 = [B]33,856[/B]...the real square root of 33,849, granted, is 183.98, but the number still wouldn't have worked out. Clearly it wound up not being a big deal but I would've been annoyed while doing it.[/QUOTE]
In that situation it would have been easier to estimate. Instead of treating it at 75 and 168, treat it as 8 and 17 and multiply your final answer my 10. If the answers aren't close at all, you don't need to worry about being off by a little.
[QUOTE=TheFeedMachi;369622]In that situation it would have been easier to estimate. Instead of treating it at 75 and 168, treat it as 8 and 17 and multiply your final answer my 10. If the answers aren't close at all, you don't need to worry about being off by a little.[/QUOTE]
Oh absolutely. I was just talking from a purely completely doing the math standpoint. Plus Emily looked like she actually did it the long way. I'm just saying that if she did she would get non-matching numbers.
This season was FAR superior to BOTS2. I found BOTS2 to be a top-3 worst season ever so this was a nice upgrade. While some of the pairings seemed a little far-fetched, it was entertaining throughout.
Really happy that CT finally got his win...long overdue. One of the greatest challenge competitors ever. I always hated when people on here (as well as his fellow castmembers) inferred that he never won because he's not a strong mental player. I always found that to be an incredibly simplistic explanation.
That CT puke might have been the biggest one I've ever seen.
Wes was far more tolerable than he was on the last few seasons he's been on...to the point where I didn't even mind having to root for him since he was CT's partner.
Paula...another win gift-wrapped for her. Conveniently she's partnered with the most athletic woman on both Rivals seasons. If Naomi had stayed, I don't want to think how easy this would've been for Paula and Emily.
Also happy to see Johnny and Frank lose. Sick of their elitist attitudes. One of the big seasons I detested BOTS2 so much was because Frank was taking a lot of camera time up and his arrogance got too out of control. That certainly didn't change with him this season. His ego needs to be chopped down big time. He's a smart guy and a solid competitor, but he needs to stop behaving like a catty high school gossip queen. I remember he tweeted during the season premiere complaining about CT trying to get him and Johnny sent in.
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">Even a rookie would know better than to try an execute a major move early in the game. <a href="https://twitter.com/search?q=%23ReasonsWhyTheSamePeopleAlwaysLose&src=hash" rel="nofollow">#ReasonsWhyTheSamePeopleAlwaysLose</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/search?q=%23Rivals2&src=hash" rel="nofollow">#Rivals2</a>— Frank Sweeney (@frankcsweeney) <a href="https://twitter.com/frankcsweeney/statuses/355159382717251584" rel="nofollow">July 11, 2013</a></blockquote>
Look how ridiculous this guy is. I'm sorry...didn't CT win the season? IT MEANT NOTHING. His Twitter account is loaded with stupid crap like this and he repeatedly goes out of his way to slam CT whenever he gets the chance. Seems to be taking after Johnny who's shown similar behavior in the past. On the other end of the spectrum, you don't see CT tweeting about Frank, or relishing the chance to talk **** about him in an interview. It shows an overwhelming lack of maturity on Frank's part. Don't come back to the challenge until you learn to grow the **** up.
So...as for the next Challenge, I'd love to see The Duel 3, provided they can get a bunch of heavy hitters on the cast. Enough of the pairs format. 4 of the last 6 seasons have been pairs, time to move on to something else.
@ AJHill completely agree with your post, great read. Frank getting too much camera time has already shown will be the downfall of this program (see SD2 and BOTS2 ratings). I did see an improvement this time around, but to what degree, and how much of it had to do with being partnered with Johnny I don't know.
Any long time fan of the show (Gauntlet 2 was my first season) knows how much CT deserved this win. He has screwed himself a few times, but in more scenarios it was things out of his control that cost him. So happy that one of the greatest competitors in challenge history finally has something to show for it.
I completely agree that the pairs format needs to go. It's been over done at this point, and it's getting to the point where if the next one is indeed pairs I'll just skim through it instead of routinely watching. Pairs makes too much of the competition one sided and it's getting stale from the competitive side of the show. I get that pairs brings better drama or whatever, but I watch firstly for the competition. For instance this season, EVERYONE knew Emily and Paula would win just looking at the line up and look what happened. I'd love a Duel 3 as well, but a full team based challenge would be fine too.
[QUOTE=JEKFAN;368982]I don't think Johnny is even trying.. It doesn't seem like he cares. Rivals I he was stuffing his face with food and wouldn't stop. He def isn't giving it his all.[/QUOTE]
Nah, he definitely was trying, age is just catching up to him and he's past his prime.
[QUOTE=Camille;368968]Say what you will about Paula, but the girls has endurance.[/QUOTE]
Exactly, even though she's not as good as Emily, people saying Emily carried her have no idea what they're talking about, Paula is one of the better competitors.
[QUOTE=kvm1977;368933]CT should get 75% if the cash[/QUOTE]
Why? Wes has killed it the entire season. He only gassed out during one checkpoint but quickly got his ****** together.
[QUOTE=Camille;368930]Wait...did Cara cry a little? And now everything is normal again...[/QUOTE]
Cara is the female version of Ty. Looks like a great athlete and a good combine player (remember Cara destroyed everyone during the FM combine), but buckle under pressure.
[QUOTE=AJHill;369632]This season was FAR superior to BOTS2. I found BOTS2 to be a top-3 worst season ever so this was a nice upgrade. While some of the pairings seemed a little far-fetched, it was entertaining throughout.
Really happy that CT finally got his win...long overdue. One of the greatest challenge competitors ever. I always hated when people on here (as well as his fellow castmembers) inferred that he never won because he's not a strong mental player. I always found that to be an incredibly simplistic explanation.
That CT puke might have been the biggest one I've ever seen.
Wes was far more tolerable than he was on the last few seasons he's been on...to the point where I didn't even mind having to root for him since he was CT's partner.
Paula...another win gift-wrapped for her. Conveniently she's partnered with the most athletic woman on both Rivals seasons. If Naomi had stayed, I don't want to think how easy this would've been for Paula and Emily.
Also happy to see Johnny and Frank lose. Sick of their elitist attitudes. One of the big seasons I detested BOTS2 so much was because Frank was taking a lot of camera time up and his arrogance got too out of control. That certainly didn't change with him this season. His ego needs to be chopped down big time. He's a smart guy and a solid competitor, but he needs to stop behaving like a catty high school gossip queen. I remember he tweeted during the season premiere complaining about CT trying to get him and Johnny sent in.
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">Even a rookie would know better than to try an execute a major move early in the game. <a rel="nofollow" href="https://twitter.com/search?q=%23ReasonsWhyTheSamePeopleAlwaysLose&src=hash">#ReasonsWhyTheSamePeopleAlwaysLose</a> <a rel="nofollow" href="https://twitter.com/search?q=%23Rivals2&src=hash">#Rivals2</a>— Frank Sweeney (@frankcsweeney) <a rel="nofollow" href="https://twitter.com/frankcsweeney/statuses/355159382717251584">July 11, 2013</a></blockquote>
Look how ridiculous this guy is. I'm sorry...didn't CT win the season? IT MEANT NOTHING. His Twitter account is loaded with stupid crap like this and he repeatedly goes out of his way to slam CT whenever he gets the chance. Seems to be taking after Johnny who's shown similar behavior in the past. On the other end of the spectrum, you don't see CT tweeting about Frank, or relishing the chance to talk **** about him in an interview. It shows an overwhelming lack of maturity on Frank's part. Don't come back to the challenge until you learn to grow the **** up.
So...as for the next Challenge, I'd love to see The Duel 3, provided they can get a bunch of heavy hitters on the cast. Enough of the pairs format. 4 of the last 6 seasons have been pairs, time to move on to something else.[/QUOTE]
I actually agree with a great amount of thing that you said. I can't stand Frank drama seeking moments but I must give him credit for that tweet! He played a part on all of this and he played it well. With that tweet he tried to hint that CT and Wes (more CT) would continued not to win.
The finale picks up right where the previous episode left off: a kayak capsizing. NO, IT WASN'T JOHNNY AND FRANK'S KAYAK YOU SILLY IDIOT. See that's what MTV does: shows unclear footage of **** then takes previous interviews out of context and slaps them at the end of the episode to justify a to be continued. So Marlon and Jordan capsize because... Well, I don't rightly know truth be told. Maybe the weight distribution shifted 'cause they both leaned slightly to the right at the same time. Maybe a rogue shark tipped them over. Either way, it happened and that was pretty much that. Cue montage of how far Marlon and Jordan have come as friends: they've come a long way from their argument in the kitchen of that house in that one Real World season. A beautiful reconciliation to be sure. 'Course outside of them competing during challenges together, and sitting next to one another during deliberation, I don't recall a single moment all season of them actually interacting with each other. FRIENDSHIP!
That leaves us blessed to see a CT/Wes versus Johnny/Frank final, and a Cara Maria/Cooke versus Paula/Emily final. Truth be told, I was eyeing the females more closely than I thought I would. Not in a creepy way or anything. More in a... Damn, this one might be closer than I thought... Kinda way. I liked the way this final was set up. No, it didn't involve climbing mountains or walking a tightrope across an active volcano, but it did involve a variety of different challenges testing a variety of different abilities. First, to get on this Nightmare Island, one must swim. A side note: Nightmare Island was a deceptive name for this final. Let's be real, this was more like... Puke and Sweat Island... Everyone there puked and sweat some, but that's not a nightmare. That's a bender at a club. Nightmare Island would be more like... the Saw movies, with oompa loompas singing in the background... Yeah... Any place called Nightmare Island has to have a ******* body count.
So they arrive on Bile and Perspiration Island, and find that they must collect 5 totems from 5 different locations on a trail loop. Runnin' laps, completing the trials, collecting the totems, and bam. Win. The first one is a puzzle. This is it. This is where Johnny and Frank can redeem themselves. Chris and Wes succeeding at the previous puzzle was a ******* FLUKE. BUT NOT THIS DAY. This pair of MASTERMIND POLITICIANS, this GREEK GOD DUO, they will shine when it counts, when their adoring fans are depending on them. We wait with bated breath...
"I'm the puzzle master." - Chris "Cry Me a Rivah/Mind Ya Business/I WILL WORK YOU DOG. WORK. YOU." Tamburello, Resident Puzzle Master.
It is at this point, I reckon, that Johnny and Frank contemplate ritual suicide. Meanwhile, the surprises continue in the girls' competition. Cara Maria and Cooke overcome Cara's swimming woes and gain an early lead after completing the puzzle ahead of Paula and Emily. The Blue Jerseys are collectively ****ting bricks. Meanwhile, the next obstacle was my favorite... Not because I've got love for the pythagorean theorem (the quadratic formula is my baby, MWAH), but because it is another MENTAL TEST. CT and Wes arrive there and realize early on that they're not gonna be able to do that **** without a calculator. If I remember correctly, they were tryin' to figure out what 75 x 75 was, and got somethin' like 29,544... ******* 29,544... Like, **** guys... Just try to ******* ballpark that **** first... Take 75 x 10 to get 750, then take that **** x 7 to get something close... That's like a ******* kicker lining up to kick a game winning field goal from the wrong side of the line of scrimmage. That's like a surgeon mixing up the paperwork and performing a hysterectomy on a man. Anyway, pretty much everyone except Emily embarrasses their parents to some degree, bless their souls. Chris and Wes are gamblin' men though, so they just pick a ******* rope and cut it. Which works out perfectly, 'cause why not? They maintain the lead. Cara Maria and Cooke figure it out... somehow... Truth be told I zoned out after Chris and Wes's immaculate random rope cut of fate. But they too maintain a lead, while Emily eventually bails the stragglers out. ONWARD TO THE FOOD CHALLENGE. Pretty much all you NEED to know about this particular challenge can be articulated by yet another artful one liner from Chris:
"It ******' hurts! BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" - Chris "BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Tamburello
Chris puked so much in that instance that it altered the tilt of the Earth's axis.
But, somehow he doesn't drown us in the veritable ******* waterfall that was the contents of his stomach, and we live to see that he and Wes maintain their lead. This is where things start to shift in Emily and Paula's favor. Cara Maria and Cooke apparently cannot hold a candle to Paula when it comes to ingesting disgusting ****. Given the amount of alcohol that woman has consumed in her life time, and the number of individuals who have dwelt inside her mouth (Dunbar, Ty, Mike, Emily, Dunbar, Dunbar, Dunbar... Really anyone who allows Dunbar into their mouth should have that and other orifices barricaded and reclassified as quarantine zones), I reckon her sense of taste has been destroyed irreparably. Paula shimmers in her moment in the sun, and they wrestle the lead away from Cara Maria and Cooke. Johnny and Frank meanwhile, are still trailing.
At last, a physical test. A test of strength and the willingness to perform a mindless repetitive task. Our challengers must load "bodies" on a stretcher and dump them in some sort of mass grave pile, a challenge surely inspired by the work low-ranking laborers had to perform in Auschwitz on a daily basis way back when when whats-his-face Hitler was Supreme Lord of Deutschland. Despite the fact that Chris and Wes have a sizable lead, Johnny and Frank are only two corpses behind. Cara Maria at this point is completely falling apart. The torture she experienced eating all that disgusting ****, in addition to separation anxiety from her Abram pillow are unfortunate realities that have conspired to break her spirit. This is where Paula and Emily secure their victory. Bing bang boom, the most dominant team I've ever seen on these challenges avoids the potential upset. At least Cara and Cooke made it interesting for a while. Meanwhile, despite showing signs of fading earlier, Wes avoids having to be carried as he was in the previous Rivals season. They finish two corpses ahead of Johnny and Frank. The last challenge involves going underground, navigating through a pile of bamboo sticks and reaching up to collect the last totem. That's ******* it. Essentially what they did was recreate Saddam Hussein's spider hole, except unlike Saddam Hussein's spider hole, they added a tunnel which led to the totem. Perhaps Saddam should have installed a similar underground tunnel so that he might've crawled and avoided capture. The big idiot. I can't help but feel as though I'm using the word tunnel incorrectly in this context. What do ya call an underground hole that leads places? A ******* burrow? Dunno. **** it.
Chris and Wes collect the last totem and beat everybody back to the yacht. Paula and Emily win it for the females, but **** that. CUE MONTAGE OF CT'S ROAD TO GLORY. All of it proved worth it. The drunken arguments... All the people he didn't wanna punch, but had to... All the womanizing... All of it led to this moment. And no one, NO ONE, can take that away from him. Except inevitable death, which comes for us, inexorably, unpredictably and without question. For we all spend a lot more time in this Universe NOT being, and only a tiny amount of time being... That's more or less the thing.
Oh, and Paula cried at the end, about not being good at ****. 'Cause she won, so why not cry about sucking at life... Right...
Since CT and Wes are my two favourite competitors ever to have been on a challenge this final had a lot of moments which I now consider as my favourite moments of all time in challenge history (like Ct sayin "love you Wes" all the time when it became clear that they won, or CT highlights, or Ct & Wes highlights, or CT taking golden elephant, or when Wes grabbed final Idol and we heard Ct from underneath bamboo sticks screaming "everything we've worked for, this is it", or Ct & Wes hugging after they received a check, or Ct saying "we gotta******* UP THOUGH" or Wes saying "worst restaurant ever", or Ct telling Wes how proud of him he was for holding on....and I could go on and on and on like that..... but
I just want to say that definitely one of the most hilarious moments of this final was when they were eating disgusting food and CT puked for the first time Wes looked at him proudly and said "Oh, there it is" and then Ct just to show team unity took a break from puking and repeated martyrly "Oh, there it is" (20:20 on mtv.com)
FUNNY STUFF
[QUOTE=AJHill;369632]This season was FAR superior to BOTS2. I found BOTS2 to be a top-3 worst season ever so this was a nice upgrade. While some of the pairings seemed a little far-fetched, it was entertaining throughout.
Really happy that CT finally got his win...long overdue. One of the greatest challenge competitors ever. I always hated when people on here (as well as his fellow castmembers) inferred that he never won because he's not a strong mental player. I always found that to be an incredibly simplistic explanation.
That CT puke might have been the biggest one I've ever seen.
Wes was far more tolerable than he was on the last few seasons he's been on...to the point where I didn't even mind having to root for him since he was CT's partner.
Paula...another win gift-wrapped for her. Conveniently she's partnered with the most athletic woman on both Rivals seasons. If Naomi had stayed, I don't want to think how easy this would've been for Paula and Emily.
Also happy to see Johnny and Frank lose. Sick of their elitist attitudes. One of the big seasons I detested BOTS2 so much was because Frank was taking a lot of camera time up and his arrogance got too out of control. That certainly didn't change with him this season. His ego needs to be chopped down big time. He's a smart guy and a solid competitor, but he needs to stop behaving like a catty high school gossip queen. I remembe
Look how ridiculous this guy is. I'm sorry...didn't CT win the season? IT MEANT NOTHING. His Twitter account is loaded with stupid crap like this and he repeatedly goes out of his way to slam CT whenever he gets the chance. Seems to be taking after Johnny who's shown similar behavior in the past. On the other end of the spectrum, you don't see CT tweeting about Frank, or relishing the chance to talk **** about him in an interview. It shows an overwhelming lack of maturity on Frank'
part. Don't come back to the challenge until you learn to grow the **** up.
So...as for the next Challenge, I'd love to see The Duel 3, provided they can get a bunch ofheavy hitters on the cast. Enough of the pairs format. 4 of the last 6 seasons have been pairs, time to move on to something else.[/QUOTE]
Its funny Frank talks about rookie mmoves to CT because on BOTS2, he was pretty keen on not being a pawn to Wes. So be should practice what he preaches.
Lets get Frank on a Challenve ahere there are both tough competitors, and he isn't.partnered.sith someone sho is known for.controlling the games. Frank has been on two challenges and he has had a.relatively good.ride through both.
[QUOTE=Mind Riot;369687]The finale picks up right where the previous episode left off: a kayak capsizing. NO, IT WASN'T JOHNNY AND FRANK'S KAYAK YOU SILLY IDIOT. See that's what MTV does: shows unclear footage of **** then takes previous interviews out of context and slaps them at the end of the episode to justify a to be continued. So Marlon and Jordan capsize because... Well, I don't rightly know truth be told. Maybe the weight distribution shifted 'cause they both leaned slightly to the right at the same time. Maybe a rogue shark tipped them over. Either way, it happened and that was pretty much that. Cue montage of how far Marlon and Jordan have come as friends: they've come a long way from their argument in the kitchen of that house in that one Real World season. A beautiful reconciliation to be sure. 'Course outside of them competing during challenges together, and sitting next to one another during deliberation, I don't recall a single moment all season of them actually interacting with each other. FRIENDSHIP!
That leaves us blessed to see a CT/Wes versus Johnny/Frank final, and a Cara Maria/Cooke versus Paula/Emily final. Truth be told, I was eyeing the females more closely than I thought I would. Not in a creepy way or anything. More in a... Damn, this one might be closer than I thought... Kinda way. I liked the way this final was set up. No, it didn't involve climbing mountains or walking a tightrope across an active volcano, but it did involve a variety of different challenges testing a variety of different abilities. First, to get on this Nightmare Island, one must swim. A side note: Nightmare Island was a deceptive name for this final. Let's be real, this was more like... Puke and Sweat Island... Everyone there puked and sweat some, but that's not a nightmare. That's a bender at a club. Nightmare Island would be more like... the Saw movies, with oompa loompas singing in the background... Yeah... Any place called Nightmare Island has to have a ******* body count.
So they arrive on Bile and Perspiration Island, and find that they must collect 5 totems from 5 different locations on a trail loop. Runnin' laps, completing the trials, collecting the totems, and bam. Win. The first one is a puzzle. This is it. This is where Johnny and Frank can redeem themselves. Chris and Wes succeeding at the previous puzzle was a ******* FLUKE. BUT NOT THIS DAY. This pair of MASTERMIND POLITICIANS, this GREEK GOD DUO, they will shine when it counts, when their adoring fans are depending on them. We wait with bated breath...
"I'm the puzzle master." - Chris "Cry Me a Rivah/Mind Ya Business/I WILL WORK YOU DOG. WORK. YOU." Tamburello, Resident Puzzle Master.
It is at this point, I reckon, that Johnny and Frank contemplate ritual suicide. Meanwhile, the surprises continue in the girls' competition. Cara Maria and Cooke overcome Cara's swimming woes and gain an early lead after completing the puzzle ahead of Paula and Emily. The Blue Jerseys are collectively ****ting bricks. Meanwhile, the next obstacle was my favorite... Not because I've got love for the pythagorean theorem (the quadratic formula is my baby, MWAH), but because it is another MENTAL TEST. CT and Wes arrive there and realize early on that they're not gonna be able to do that **** without a calculator. If I remember correctly, they were tryin' to figure out what 75 x 75 was, and got somethin' like 29,544... ******* 29,544... Like, **** guys... Just try to ******* ballpark that **** first... Take 75 x 10 to get 750, then take that **** x 7 to get something close... That's like a ******* kicker lining up to kick a game winning field goal from the wrong side of the line of scrimmage. That's like a surgeon mixing up the paperwork and performing a hysterectomy on a man. Anyway, pretty much everyone except Emily embarrasses their parents to some degree, bless their souls. Chris and Wes are gamblin' men though, so they just pick a ******* rope and cut it. Which works out perfectly, 'cause why not? They maintain the lead. Cara Maria and Cooke figure it out... somehow... Truth be told I zoned out after Chris and Wes's immaculate random rope cut of fate. But they too maintain a lead, while Emily eventually bails the stragglers out. ONWARD TO THE FOOD CHALLENGE. Pretty much all you NEED to know about this particular challenge can be articulated by yet another artful one liner from Chris:
"It ******' hurts! BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" - Chris "BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Tamburello
Chris puked so much in that instance that it altered the tilt of the Earth's axis.
But, somehow he doesn't drown us in the veritable ******* waterfall that was the contents of his stomach, and we live to see that he and Wes maintain their lead. This is where things start to shift in Emily and Paula's favor. Cara Maria and Cooke apparently cannot hold a candle to Paula when it comes to ingesting disgusting ****. Given the amount of alcohol that woman has consumed in her life time, and the number of individuals who have dwelt inside her mouth (Dunbar, Ty, Mike, Emily, Dunbar, Dunbar, Dunbar... Really anyone who allows Dunbar into their mouth should have that and other orifices barricaded and reclassified as quarantine zones), I reckon her sense of taste has been destroyed irreparably. Paula shimmers in her moment in the sun, and they wrestle the lead away from Cara Maria and Cooke. Johnny and Frank meanwhile, are still trailing.
At last, a physical test. A test of strength and the willingness to perform a mindless repetitive task. Our challengers must load "bodies" on a stretcher and dump them in some sort of mass grave pile, a challenge surely inspired by the work low-ranking laborers had to perform in Auschwitz on a daily basis way back when when whats-his-face Hitler was Supreme Lord of Deutschland. Despite the fact that Chris and Wes have a sizable lead, Johnny and Frank are only two corpses behind. Cara Maria at this point is completely falling apart. The torture she experienced eating all that disgusting ****, in addition to separation anxiety from her Abram pillow are unfortunate realities that have conspired to break her spirit. This is where Paula and Emily secure their victory. Bing bang boom, the most dominant team I've ever seen on these challenges avoids the potential upset. At least Cara and Cooke made it interesting for a while. Meanwhile, despite showing signs of fading earlier, Wes avoids having to be carried as he was in the previous Rivals season. They finish two corpses ahead of Johnny and Frank. The last challenge involves going underground, navigating through a pile of bamboo sticks and reaching up to collect the last totem. That's ******* it. Essentially what they did was recreate Saddam Hussein's spider hole, except unlike Saddam Hussein's spider hole, they added a tunnel which led to the totem. Perhaps Saddam should have installed a similar underground tunnel so that he might've crawled and avoided capture. The big idiot. I can't help but feel as though I'm using the word tunnel incorrectly in this context. What do ya call an underground hole that leads places? A ******* burrow? Dunno. **** it.
Chris and Wes collect the last totem and beat everybody back to the yacht. Paula and Emily win it for the females, but **** that. CUE MONTAGE OF CT'S ROAD TO GLORY. All of it proved worth it. The drunken arguments... All the people he didn't wanna punch, but had to... All the womanizing... All of it led to this moment. And no one, NO ONE, can take that away from him. Except inevitable death, which comes for us, inexorably, unpredictably and without question. For we all spend a lot more time in this Universe NOT being, and only a tiny amount of time being... That's more or less the thing.
Oh, and Paula cried at the end, about not being good at ****. 'Cause she won, so why not cry about sucking at life... Right...[/QUOTE]
This was, without a doubt, the funniest post I've ever read. After spitting out a mouthful of iced tea early on in your post, I wisely put the beverage aside until I finished reading it (good thing too!) You summed up the final perfectly. I just wanted to thank you for giving me a much-needed guffaw.:applouse: Enjoy the rest of your day.
[QUOTE=AJHill;369632]Also happy to see Johnny and Frank lose. Sick of their elitist attitudes. One of the big seasons I detested BOTS2 so much was because Frank was taking a lot of camera time up and his arrogance got too out of control. That certainly didn't change with him this season. His ego needs to be chopped down big time. He's a smart guy and a solid competitor, but he needs to stop behaving like a catty high school gossip queen. I remember he tweeted during the season premiere complaining about CT trying to get him and Johnny sent in.
Look how ridiculous this guy is. I'm sorry...didn't CT win the season? IT MEANT NOTHING. His Twitter account is loaded with stupid crap like this and he repeatedly goes out of his way to slam CT whenever he gets the chance. Seems to be taking after Johnny who's shown similar behavior in the past. On the other end of the spectrum, you don't see CT tweeting about Frank, or relishing the chance to talk **** about him in an interview. It shows an overwhelming lack of maturity on Frank's part. Don't come back to the challenge until you learn to grow the **** up.[/QUOTE]
That's because Sweeney has a major crush on CT.
[QUOTE=dagr317;369699]This was, without a doubt, the funniest post I've ever read. After spitting out a mouthful of iced tea early on in your post, I wisely put the beverage aside until I finished reading it (good thing too!) You summed up the final perfectly. I just wanted to thank you for giving me a much-needed guffaw.:applouse: Enjoy the rest of your day.[/QUOTE]
Happy to help. Sorry ya lost a mouthful of tea over it. Thanks, and you enjoy the rest of your day as well :)
[QUOTE=JEKFAN;369723][URL]http://***************.blogspot.com/2013/09/emily-schromm-rivals-2-interview.html[/URL]
Emily explains why her and Cara don't get along[/QUOTE]
I cant see. Would you mind sending me the link through private message?
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