Real World DC: When Push Comes to Shove

[QUOTE=Bacchus;154319]She explained that earlier to Mike after Andrew was initially on top of her (in the bedroom.) It was a nervous laugh, that comes from being uncomfortable. I personally don't do it, but I actually know a few people that have this reflex to stress. I think she clarified later that she did not leave the house because of an overwhelming fear of Andrew, but rather because of how [I]she might have reacted [/I]had she continued in that situation. In the end, it was a good cooling off period for all involved.[/QUOTE] I see all your points. I know people who laugh when they're nervous too. BUT, with that said, how was Andrew supposed to know that? As far as we know (and I say that because it's all we've been shown), Mike was the only roommate to know that Ashley laughs when nervous. She put pizza in Andrew's bed, he put pizza in her bed in retaliation, they wrestled on the bed, and it was over for a bit. Then it started again in the hallway. She was laughing still, so in Andrew's mind it was still all fun and games and then SNAP she's freaking out. But in the end, they're all friends now so I guess it really doesn't matter.

I think the main thing here is that unless you are the person in the situation, it's really hard to judge what is an "overreaction". Different things in people's lives cause them to react in ways that make sense to them, but may not make sense to others. I mean, Was Callie "overreacting" when she got upset about the skinny comment? To someone who has never struggled with an eating issue and has wonderful self-esteem, it may have seemed silly to get your feelings hurt and not just brush if off instantly. But, to someone who HAS struggled with those problems, it may feel like Ty was a total insensitive jerk. Andrew said it best when he said "The lesson here is: Don't mess with Ashley." Now he knows you can't play around with her like you can with others....whether he or we agree with the reasoning behind it or not.

[QUOTE=Bacchus;154314]I think I've seen the biggest overreaction to an overreaction in the history of this forum! Haha... Sure, Ashley instigated the chain of events - but that does not in any way exonerate Andrew's actions. While Ashely may have overreacted to being pushed by Andrew, I think it is perfectly understandable that a trigger was set off inside her and she was not reacting to what was happening, but what might happen (even though with Andrew, no reasonable person would consider it would escalate beyond that point, from what we know.) Andrew was certainly on the right side of the initial argument by wanting to retaliate, but he approached it in an overtly physical manner, which in the case with Ashely was beyond the comfort zone which she has a right to, as a human being and as a woman. He could have found more fitting retaliation that did not involve pushing, no matter how playful he felt it was at the time.[/QUOTE] I completely agree with you. I guess I am making a bigger deal out of it than need be. But I think what really just bothered me, was that after the situation had calmed down, she grabbed the pizza box and threw it at him, which is what led to him becoming physical. I also completely understand Ashley's past and what caused her to react the way she did. But to me if felt like she was trying to get the "last word" of the situation. All in all, do I think Andrew was wrong for pushing her? Yes, but by continuing to antagonize him I feel like Ashley was bringing it upon herself. Even though the situation was playful at first.

The thing about Ashley that irks me is that she seems to feel a bit entitled (for lack of a better word). I mean, I understand her need/desire to want to know all about the people she is living with, but it's almost as if she feels like living with them gives her the RIGHT to know personal information instead of EARNING trust and becoming a good friend, thus giving her the privilege to know the roommates better. She is obviously a talker...I mean, it showed her talking about the Andrew situation last night to like 5 different people at 5 different times of day. She has no problem telling people about the problems she's dealt with in her life, etc. I just think she doesn't understand that not everyone opens up the same way she does (talking about every detail of her life). Maybe Andrew's way of opening up to people is playing around with them. Hopefully she can learn to accept people more for who they are and not what she wants them to be.

[QUOTE=BamaBelle;154328] [B]Hopefully she can learn to accept people more for who they are and not what she wants them to be.[/B][/QUOTE] I couldn't have said that sentence better myself.

[QUOTE=Buck05;154329]I couldn't have said that sentence better myself.[/QUOTE] I disagree...at first I may have thought that after watching last nights episode, but there is no way around the fact that Andrew, IMO, did take it a tad too far. I know it was just rough housing in his eyes but to me it reminded me of someone I used to know, someone who had a little frustration and anger behind their playfulness. I mean he was probably pissed off because she did start the pizza fight and he was being made into the bad guy. His buttons probably got pushed a little too much but as a woman, I can say I wouldn't be comfortable with the way he was playfully pushing her. I do think that Ashley was attention seeking after the whole thing, but so what? Everyone has their faults, I don't think any less of Ashley after last night's episode. I like the fact that she has passionate opinions on things and goes with the way she feels, even if it is a little extreme haha.

[QUOTE=Cait3223;154445]I disagree...at first I may have thought that after watching last nights episode, but there is no way around the fact that Andrew, IMO, did take it a tad too far.[/QUOTE] But, I wasn't saying that about the pushing situation. I was talking about her personality in general.

Yeah..I guess what I was saying is I agree with what you're saying and I think she has faults but I still really like her.

[QUOTE=cjslife;154327]I completely agree with you. I guess I am making a bigger deal out of it than need be. But I think what really just bothered me, was that after the situation had calmed down, she grabbed the pizza box and threw it at him, which is what led to him becoming physical.[/QUOTE] I watched that scene a couple times and it doesn't look like she was throwing the box at him. She barely had a hold on the boxes and as she was turning the corner, it looks like he reaches out and hits the boxes then runs after her.

[QUOTE=bambam;154564]I watched that scene a couple times and it doesn't look like she was throwing the box at him. She barely had a hold on the boxes and as she was turning the corner, it looks like he reaches out and hits the boxes then runs after her.[/QUOTE] That's what I thought too. Seeing as though everyone kept asking Andrew if he was going to clean that up, and not Ashley. I've been watching these shows long enough and know a lot about the editing, so I can't come out and say "She was wrong/He was wrong." because I just don't know the whole story. And I do understand that ones past experiences will affect how they react to different things, so, who am I to judge? Someone who has been abused in the past is obviously going to have a different reaction to someone coming at them physically, unlike me, who has luckily never had to suffer that kind of treatment. I would have hauled off and fought back. :D What matters is that was only one night out of the months they lived together. They are still friends, so I'm going to give Ashley the benefit of the doubt that her judgement is better than to still be friendly with someone who was truly malicious.

For what it's worth (and for some of you, I'm sure that won't be much), this is what Ashley had to say regarding the situation. [QUOTE][B] What really happened? [/B] What you saw really happened but there were events leading up to it. If you watch the dailies you'll see that. That night is tough to watch and there are a lot of things that I feel still need to be said... Let's start with the basics- today I love love love Drewbie! I know him and know he'd never hurt a fly but as the show partially explained- at that time I didn't know him well. I didn't know his triggers, his boiling points or what truly made him tick. I read a great point online tonight that I wanted to share: If Ty were to tell me "you're not thin enough for Playboy" I would have laughed it off and called him an *******. But to Callie that comment, that might not have meant anything to me, was a trigger for her because of her past. So maybe to my roomies the fight with Andrew was silly but to ME it triggered something. Now my roomies might not understand why I reacted the way I did to Andrew but the lack of empathy from them (to this day) regarding my reaction still surprises me as I was empathetic toward them on subjects that hurt them and were foreign to me. As for the hotel stay- I stated this in the episode but it's worth repeating: I didn't leave out of fear. I left to separate myself from the situation. If you watch the dailies I tried to keep my mouth shut, process everything and was yelled at pretty ruthlessly by ty and drew. I needed time to clear my head and think without a roommate in my ear TELLING me who I was and how I should react. Regardless of your opinion on the matter I consider that an adult move. As for my reaction - looking at it now I see I over reacted and over dramatized the situation and I take full responsibility for that- BUT I can't apologize for how I felt. I can't control fear or feeling unsafe, I can control how I respond and react better in the future. Finally- in regards to the mtv.com comments from my housemates- that's their opinion and they're entitled to it BUT after next week Ashley's hot seat and firing squad should be completed and I'm sure they'll want someone on their side come their day and I would have been a damn good ally... Living, Learning, Growing, Ash [/QUOTE] [[URL="http://www.formspring.me/AshleyLindley/q/124614364"]via[/URL]]

[QUOTE=molds13;154576]For what it's worth (and for some of you, I'm sure that won't be much), this is what Ashley had to say regarding the situation. [/QUOTE] [QUOTE]I read a great point online tonight that I wanted to share: If Ty were to tell me "you're not thin enough for Playboy" I would have laughed it off and called him an *******. But to Callie that comment, that might not have meant anything to me, was a trigger for her because of her past. So maybe to my roomies the fight with Andrew was silly but to ME it triggered something.[/QUOTE] Hey, that sounds like a comment from [URL="http://vevmo.com/f241/real-world-dc-when-push-comes-4625/index2.html#post154326"]here[/URL]! Very good point, Bamabelle. Hi Ashley, glad you're reading. :)

That was actually really well said. I'll give her that. I've definitely not been an Ashley fan [B][I]from what the editors give me[/I][/B], but I can tell her heart seems to always be in the right place despite what it may come off as.

[QUOTE=Buck05;154579]That was actually really well said. I'll give her that. I've definitely not been an Ashley fan [B][I]from what the editors give me[/I][/B], but I can tell her heart seems to always be in the right place despite what it may come off as.[/QUOTE] She has a point too; She's been featured quite a bit these last few eps, but next week or the week after, we'll be all worked up over someone else. Ahhh the world of "reality" is such a fickle one. ;)

[QUOTE=bambam;154564]I watched that scene a couple times and it doesn't look like she was throwing the box at him. She barely had a hold on the boxes and as she was turning the corner, it looks like he reaches out and hits the boxes then runs after her.[/QUOTE] I thought the same thing. It looked like she was walking around the corner with the boxes in hand, and he happened to be there and knocked them out of her hand. Maybe she was going to his room to put the boxes in his bed? I totally agree that editing makes all the difference in the world. I guess that's why you have to think for yourself before making a judgment instead of reacting immediately to just what you're given. Ashley seems like a sweet girl, just a little emotional sometimes....but that's normal for a young girl in a new situation! Maybe the editors will move on after this and we'll get to see a side of her having fun instead of her being in the center of drama.