[quote=travis85;44280]Hey Mr. Admin Bacchus, what do you think of Chet? Is he a closet case? I really can't figure him out.[/quote]
There is a complex argument to be had here.
First of all, a case could be made that because Chet is a follower of the Mormon church he does not currently have the ability to share his "true" sexuality. If he was exposed for being a gay man, he would be expelled immediately. That doesn't leave much room for innuendo.
The reality is Chet has told us, the viewers, he is straight. We need to accept his words at face value. His eccentric nature should not be immediately taken for a sublime repression.
To be honest, what I think is irrelevant. If Chet says he is straight, he is straight. If he said he was gay, I'd accept that to be truth as well.
It is he whom we are "judging" and thus it is prudent from a human perspective that we use his personally espoused ideologies to view him as the character on this show we watch, until otherwise noted.
[quote=Bacchus;44283]There is a complex argument to be had here.
First of all, a case could be made that because Chet is a follower of the Mormon church he does not currently have the ability to share his "true" sexuality. If he was exposed for being a gay man, he would be expelled immediately. That doesn't leave much room for innuendo.
The reality is Chet has told us, the viewers, he is straight. We need to accept his words at face value. His eccentric nature should not be immediately taken for a sublime repression.
To be honest, what I think is irrelevant. If Chet says he is straight, he is straight. If he said he was gay, I'd accept that to be truth as well.
It is he whom we are "judging" and thus it is prudent from a human perspective that we use his personally espoused ideologies to view him as the character on this show we watch, until otherwise noted.[/quote]
Very well articulated, although forgive me for I could not resist to cite Clay Aiken as a classic case of us taking a celebrity at face value. You, however brought up a great point about the Mormon religion's excommunication policy on homosexuals.
[quote=travis85;44285]You, however brought up a great point about the Mormon religion's excommunication policy on homosexuals.[/quote]
I think no matter what, Chet is very dedicated to his religion.
Survivor has had 2 openly gay Mormons who I believe were still able to balance a committment to their religion. Not that it has anything to do with Chet. But if he were to be gay and open about it, it would not be a groundbreaking first for the Mormon church.
[quote=ssseeeaaann;44289]Survivor has had 2 openly gay Mormons who I believe were still able to balance a committment to their religion. Not that it has anything to do with Chet. But if he were to be gay and open about it, it would not be a groundbreaking first for the Mormon church.[/quote]
Thanks Sean. I am not personally familiar with Mormon doctrine, but I would hope that they would be accepting of a committed church subject - no matter their innate sexual preference.
God I can't stand this guy. Everyone seems chill...even Ryan seems a little better as the show has progressed. I seriously think that he dresses like that so he can later ask people, do you think I'm gay? just to start a convo. 70% of his airtime deals with something about homosexuality. I believe he is straight but is one big attention ***** and just wants to make people wonder.
[quote=jku20;44684] I seriously think that he dresses like that so he can later ask people, do you think I'm gay? [/quote]
Or maybe, because it's his preferred choice of style.
First off, let me start by saying thank you for all the support and messages you guys have been sending me! I am trying my best to answer everyones messages... the response to last nights episode was overwhelming! But at the same time, i have mixed emotions... on one hand, i am happy that everyone feels that they can share their story and speak out, but at the same time, it breaks my heart to know that there are SOOOOO many people out there who have been victimized.
But for all the survivors out there: here is my message:
BE STRONG
Every day is hard. Sometimes you'll feel guilty, sometimes you'll feel like its your fault, sometimes youll feel like no one believes you, sometimes youll feel like maybe you made it all up, or that nothing ever really happened. But stay true to yourself. NO ONE KNOWS BUT YOU. I myself have even received a few messages on here from people claiming that i made it up or that nothing ever happened. But i know the truth. Unfortunately, MTV was not able to air the entire story with my dad because, due to the fact that he was never convicted, my words can be considered slander... (ANOTHER stupid law that only silences victims..)
But trust me.. there is MUCH more to the story, my father would show my little brothers pornographic pictures of women in ******* when they were only 5 and 8 years old. My dad stood in front of me naked and tried to get me in bed with him. All disgusting and unacceptable for any father.
And as you can see from all the messages and comments, I am not the only one with stories like that.
Now, every case is different, and everyone deal with things differently, but there are a few pieces of advice that, i think, apply to any survivor of abuse:
First and foremost: TELL SOMEONE! TELL SOMEONE TELL SOMEONE!!! the statute of limitations laws are different in every state and sometimes, only give victims a short window of time to report the crimes. If you cant tell someone in your family, or a teacher, or close friend, sometimes it can be easier to share your story with a stranger, like a school counselor or therapist. Cities across the country have community centers that often provide free counseling especially for teens and young adults. Also, hop online and look up sexual abuse hotlines in your area. there are MANY MANY local organizations as well as national whos mission it is to help survivors of abuse. Some places are required to report any abuse to the authorities, and this is a good thing! it SHOULD be reported! not only to protect you, but to protect future victims as well, (cause we all know its NEVER something that happens "just once")
Next, remember: We Survive Because We Didn't Cause It: Our abusers would like us to think we brought this on ourselves, that somehow, something we did, or something we were, caused them to violate us. But it was something they did and what they are. Their treatment and threats were violence that they committed upon us, things that sicken us and manipulate our emotions years later. No matter what they said or did, we will survive because we know it is not our fault. It doesn't matter what the feelings were, we didn't cause this. This lesson was the hardest for me to learn, and may be for you too. I KNOW those feelings of self hatred and shame, and they're normal! Which is why its so sad. Isn't it strange that if someone shot you for no reason, you;d hate them and blame them, but when someone rapes you, YOU feel like it was your fault?! Its terrible... And sad, and common. Again, why we all need someone to talk to. someone to tell us we're not alone.
Keep in mind: We use the emotional pain to make us Strong: Our abusers may have thought they broke us, beat us, dominated and manipulated us, but they strengthened us. They may have thought they took advantage of our weakness but the weakness is theirs. Their twisted behavior has left us with deep emotional pain but that pain makes us strong. It strengthens and reinforces our resolve to recapture every part of life they tried to steal. Every time their abuse comes to mind, force it out with happy, pure, thoughts, until your mind is overflowing with joy. Every time you sense an emptiness, fill it with useful, meaningful activity. For me, I found comfort in volunteer work. It made me feel better to know that i was helping others, and for many, in helping others, we also help ourselves.
And last but not least: We survive to help others survive: And this statement never meant so much to me as it does now. We get even stronger when we know there are other victims out there who need our help. We know more than anyone how alone you can feel after being abused, but now, we can be there when someone else needs us. We can become that person who understands and comforts...maybe even saves another from abuse. There may be no greater reason to survive than to help others become abuse survivors in recovery. This has given me purpose in life, motivation, and direction. Rather than dwelling on what happened, i have redirected my attention to helping those who truly need it. Those who haven't learned the lessons that i have stated on here. Those who just need someone to tell them they are not alone. Together we are stronger. Reach out to someone and never never never feel ashamed to share your story, cause, more times than not, it will only encourage someone else to be strong and share theirs.
My dream is that one day we live in a world where society encourages us to stand up for ourselves and speak out about sexual abuse. Where everyone feel safe to talk about it, where no one fears people not believing them, but we are far far away from this world. Things will only change if you make an effort to change them. So i encourage you all to find that inner strength, and remember YOU ARE NOT A VICTIM!! YOU ARE A SURVIVOR!!!
peace and love
Sarah
Wow Sarah your story is very inspirational. I wish you all the luck in the world and hope you can continue moving foward. My mom herslef is a single mother and when I graduate from Law school all I want to do is be a public defender and help SCUM like your "father" be thrown in jail. GOOD LUCK!
Great story Sarah! It it very inspirational and it encourages people to help others who have been abused. I am glad that you survived and became a better and stronger person!
In the society that we live in today there's too much sexual abuse and human trafficking. I go to school in downtown Atlanta, where there is severe human trafficking. So me and a group of friends did a few campaigns to stop sexual abuse/human trafficking in Atlanta. We will continue to do campaigns and hope that speaking out would day change the world.
[quote=k8mnstr;43923]we have one "gay" and two ********* tyvm. Gender identity and sexual orientation are two wildly different things. I identify as female and my sexual orientation is bi-sexual.
Willful ignorance is soooo 1964.[/quote]
katelynn is here also!!! Omg omg omg omg
[QUOTE=tomackze;46558]i like him a lot when he is drunk... he's sort of an "instigator" and i like that because it is really funny to watch[/QUOTE]
How do you reconcile in your own conscience that his behavior appears to be both disrespectful and hurtful to others? Is not rewarding him for his bad behavior just the opposite of what he needs as a response from fans or do you consider that the entertainment value of his behavior outweighs the harm?
[quote=tomackze;46558]i like him a lot when he is drunk... he's sort of an "instigator" and i like that because it is really funny to watch[/quote]
Why is starting crap with people funny? It wouldn't be so funny if you were on the receiving end of an instigator's mess.
[quote=V1man;46559]How do you reconcile in your own conscience that his behavior appears to be both disrespectful and hurtful to others? Is not rewarding him for his bad behavior just the opposite of what he needs as a response from fans or do you consider that the entertainment value of his behavior outweighs the harm?[/quote]
He is human and humans have a tendency to make mistakes. The harm he inflicts on others do help him grow as a person and that is the positive behind it. You can not really understand something until you really know the dangers of it. Like people in your life can always tell you not to touch a pot of boiling water, but you still need to experience it first to NEVER touch a pot of boiling water (or see someone else do it). If you never do it then you will always be curious and might one day do something like that.
JD might be a man but he is still a young adult so he still has a lot to learn. Let him get drunk and make these mistakes so he can apologize, try to change, and always have that thought in the back of his mind (that messing with others while drunk is not okay). Yes it is harmful but if it makes him a better person then it is worth it in the end.
and i can laugh and become amused by his actions because i can relate to them, he reminds me of myself when he does those deeds and that is the main reason why i can accept it. I do not instigate anymore but i used to do it... watching him on TV brings back old memories you can say
[quote=realitywedding;46563]Why is starting crap with people funny? It wouldn't be so funny if you were on the receiving end of an instigator's mess.[/quote]
actually i have done it and i have received it... After the deed is done it isn't that funny but at that spur of the moment it is a little amusing. And what is a relationship/friendship without some troubles in the line? You can not grow and become better friends if you never have problems and work through those problems... Remember this is only like the 4th episode which would probably be the 1st or 2nd week in the house. They are still all getting to know each other and there is a lot of adapting to do. The instigating fact is entertaining in this sense also because it shows how different each character are from one another, and that is the difference we love to watch from MTV and what makes the show long standing and popular
Sarah, first, welcome to Vevmo. Have been looking forward to hearing from you on here. Your post was beautiful, and your words so strong and inspirational. I think it's great that you can take something that must have traumatized you and turned it into a way to relate to and help others. There are so few people like you. Hopefully we will see much more of you this season and it's full of good times! :)
[QUOTE=tomackze;46608]Judge much? Just accept a different point of view and don't try to change it...[/QUOTE]
I don't think anyone is trying to change you opnion of JD Tomackze, don't worry. I think they are just more suprised that you seem to see nothing wrong with hurting other people to get over your own hurt and pain...At least that is what I gathered from your post, but I could be reading it with the wrong tone. I could be wrong though :D
Well there is still that famous motto of always looking out for Numero Uno...
And like Chet, I believe in forgiveness and I believe in making mistakes. Better you make these mistakes early on now then later. That is why I can accept it because, as an audience, it teaches us how these people are like in real life through these experiences.
I like to see JD mess up and **** these people off because it shows us what we can and can not do if we were ever to meet these people. You can't learn until you mess up or see others mess up, that has always been my motto
When it is early on, I accept it and can definitely put up with it. Once you get to know someone further, then I can not accept it anymore...
I mean what JD did to Katelynn definitely was not appropriate as they built a bond over that and he outed her so that definitely wasn't cool. But I personally did not find his other offenses to be so bad because he probably didn't know that those other people would take it the wrong way...
His deed to Katelynn he knew though so that is something that i can not accept (yes I am sort of contradicting myself) because he knows that this is a topic she isn't that open about...
But his deed to the others, even to Ryan, those are understandable mistakes which is why I find them amusing. Because anyone can make that mistake...
[quote=tomackze;46624]But his deed to the others, even to Ryan, those are understandable mistakes which is why I find them amusing. Because anyone can make that mistake...[/quote]
By that do you mean what's going to happen next week?
Yes that is what I meant. If you think it through then you would not make the mistake he made but he probably was a little intoxicated or was so determined to get revenge for something Ryan might have done earlier that he just completely disregarded the whole army life thing...
Remember they are all new, they don't really understand each other too well yet. So he probably does not know that his wrong deeds are actually WRONG
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