[quote]Was the five-year leap a giant step forward for "Desperate Housewives"? Not in my book. But last night's season premiere did set some plot wheels in motion that could carry the ladies of Wisteria Lane to some intriguing places. Although for now, I would settle for anything that would jolt them out of their character cul-de-sacs, and there wasn't enough movement on that front for my tastes. Not yet, anyway.
So five years have passed, what's up with our gals? Well, Gabby is fat. Or at least, Gabby's version of fat. Which is actually just a little plump. Also, she and Carlos have two girls, one of whom is quite a chunk. Look forward to some juicy issues there, judging by Gabby's decision to get daughter Juanita to exercise by making the little girl run after Mommy's car. Oh Gabby, you are still so wrong about so many things, but also so entertaining
Which is more than we can say for Susan, who has grown thinner and more grim since she and Mike killed a mother and daughter in a car accident. Though the accident was not their fault, Susan couldn't live with the guilt, so she and Mike split up. Now he sees their son on the weekends and she is sleeping with her house painter. Amazingly enough, a somber Susan is just as irritating as the flighty, klutzy Susan. Who could have predicted that?
Less surprising are Bree and Lynette, who haven't changed much at all. Even if their circumstances have. When Danielle came to reclaim her baby, Bree threw herself into her catering company, and now she has become the Martha Stewart clone she always wanted to be. Too bad she appropriated so many of Katherine's recipes in the process.
I'm looking forward to more Katherine-Bree showdowns, but I wish this whole plot line was more of a surprise.
The same goes for Lynette, who is still saddled with stories in which she has to trick Tom into paying attention to their kids. That's been old for years now. Oh, Felicity, when will they give you something interesting to do? Speaking of the Scavo kids, where did they all go, anyway? Last night, it was all about Parker and Preston, who are now exactly the kind of 16-year-old hellions we figured they'd be. But what about the other kids? Don't they have at least two more, if not three? Where are they? Is Marc Cherry hoping we will become so sick of Lynette and her same old stories that we don't notice?
Well, congrats! It's just been one episode, and I'm almost there already.
And finally, there is Edie, who is back in the Wisteria Lane fold with a creepy husband (the always-chilling Neal McDonough) who is not only in the neighborhood for scary reasons of his own, he also has Edie baking muffins. Now that is terrifying.
So what did you think? Did the Housewives reboot make you want to bake a cherry pie in celebration? Or will you be joining me on the white picket fence until these new plot lines actually generate some new movement on the character front?
Or are you just glad Mrs. McCluskey is back?
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