I thought this was pretty good.
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[B] Evel**** Donato's take on BB9![/B]
(February, 17, 2008)
By Evel****
This season's cast....Where to begin? It's like there is so much to talk about and so little at the same time.
So little game play it seems the only reason they are in there most of the time is to********.The plays that have been made have been some of the most idiotic ever made. Jacob wanted to stir it up and make a major game play.... Major game play? How do you make a major gameplay when there was none to be made? Almost certainly Sheila & Adam would have been history, instead this ******* is history. What a *******.
It is not a bad thing to skate when you can, there will be enough times you will have too much attention on you.
And talk about *******es....What a Jenius move telling everyone that you are a couple outside the house. What in the hell is wrong with these people? Did they do that so Ryan could ***k Jen and she wouldn't be looked at as such a ****? Well, it didn't work..... she is still a **** and both of their ***** are on the block. I don't know the reasoning behind that brilliant move, but something tells me it was rooted in Ryan's jealousy.
Now Sheila, what the ***k is wrong with this woman? She was paired with Adam, so what? Yeah, he is the crazy eyed person of this cast and he is neurotic and it looks like the guy is gonna have an aneurysm when he is in the diary room, but she isn't marrying him or ***king him. It is her partner to win half a million dollars, you idiot! She alienated him immediately and had it not been for the Jenius Jacob, they would be gone because of her, dumb *****. And I saw her Penthouse pics from a hundred years ago and it just made me happy the 80's are over. Those giant bushes like hers, you would have to get the weed wacker out of the garage just to find the ***** there, then you would always get a stray in the back of your throat and would be hacking it up like a cat with a fur ball. Thanks for the memories Sheila. And she was going around the house saying she was dreaming about me.... I found this very disturbing and have been afraid to go to sleep ever since.
Amanda is either the most delusional one of the group or was actually "sleep fingered" yeah, I never heard of it either, but if there is sleep walking, and with her account Alex was pretending to be asleep and was trying to pull a slick one by pulling the old sleep finger the girl you are laying next to, since your eyes are closed, you must be totally innocent. And in the mean time didn't she suck a **** somewhere along the line as well? I can't be sure, maybe I was getting a******** in my sleep.
Is anyone keeping track of how many ******** have been done in the house already? We know that Natalie swallows and will suck any **** stuck in her face. I saw a line forming at her side of the bed by all the other guys in the house taking turns dumping loads down her throat. But the nice Christian girl she is, I could have sworn that after every gulp, I heard a Hallelujah Jesus!
And even though one of the gay guys left for a picnic or maybe he was on the Kansas City Chiefs Cheerleading squad and decided he was giving up too much to stay. It seems that our resident, self proclaimed wild and crazy guy, James was a little bit wilder than we thought when those gay **** pictures started popping up (no pun intended) all over the place. This guy seems confused about more than his sexuality as well. I mean, he is bicycling around the world? Ok, cool.... But what in the ***k is up with those tattoos? I think he must have brought those designs home on construction paper and crayon for his mommy in the first grade and decided to have them tattooed on himself after his mother and father ran away from him, (flash back to the movie Joe Dirt.)
Then there is Matt. Matt has some kind of wiggy eye that drives me nuts. It is one of those that isn't really off, but it is off enough to question if he is looking at you or the person next to you when he spoke and you find yourself momentarily confused and not sure if you should answer, all the while trying to figure out which eye to look in and figure out who in the hell was he talking to? Matt made me laugh so hard when he said as he looked around, I have this won, look at these people. Well, he had that part correct, the problem with that is he is assuming he is any brighter than any of the others. All I have heard is that horrible Boston accent and a wiggy eye so far.
Jen is supposed to be the hot girl in the house, because it sure in the hell isn't Amanda or Natalie with the big strap on ***** that God gave her. But her overconfidence was funny to watch and her biggest move in the house so far was asking Ryan to stick her tampon up in her ****** farther. I guess she can't push it in passed her elbow in, so she probly just stops people in the mall and asks them if they could shove it in 3 feet or so.
Token (Parker) seems cool enough, but he seems like he has the mood swings of a woman in the height of her period. He seems to have pissed people off already. Even I waited on ******* people off until the 3rd week, except Jen that is, but we are talking about people that actually count. And Token is trying to make up for Ambers anti-Semitic remarks made last season by actually wearing Moses' burning bush that God spoke to him through, on top of his head!! A brilliant job keeping the B/J alliance (Blacks/Jews Alliance) from Season 8 alive and well in the Big Brother House.
I am lacking opinion on the rest really.... Ally could be a good one or a disaster. There aren't very many women who are gambling addicts, but she is one. I find her interesting but don't know enough about her yet. And she hasn't even sucked a **** yet. Hmmmmmm.....
Speaking of haven't sucked a **** yet. Joshuah, he thought he would be the first gay couple having sex on TV, but no...... Neil found out he had gonnoreah and even though Josh showed him the paper from the free clinic that said he was clean, Neil got the hell out of there like the roadrunner. But we still have James in there and he might want to brush up on his on screen *** faces with Josh, so all hope isn't lost.
I missed some, oh well... I will talk about them if they are still in the house in a few weeks.
The Power Couple thing, I HATED IT! Every power in the BB house comes with a negative attached to it. HOH, you nominate people, not all go home and you have made an enemy in the house, I like that. This thing had no repercussionswhat so ever attached to it. And the fact that there was no vote, no way to save yourself, no nothing... Just waving the hand of the holder of the magic ping pong ball and you are gone. Are you kidding me?
I have never liked the twists, this is no exception. If I had waited the three years I did to get into the house, then they pair me up with someone like the ******* queen... well, bad example. Let's say Jen, or Amber from BB8. I would have had to kill the cast and the production before turning the plastic fruit knife on myself... I would be so pissed off.
The twists always make the playing field unfair for people. It tips it to their advantage or their disadvantage. It should be an even playing field for everyone playing the game. But, there is no going back now, there will be twists every season and every season they will try and out do themselves from the season before.
Welcome to the Season of **** sucking and sleep fingering.
House Credo - We don't need no stinking strategizing.... A************* will due.
I am out...
Evel****
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