Ashli's email..."We ended up having ***"...isn't that what you say when you're bored? We ended up playing Trivial Pursuit.
The Ashli and Dunbar dyad has gone from obvious flirting, heavy petting, and dry ******* to full blown *** tape scandal type of regret. Or so the next episode sneak peek would suggest. Oh, the whoas of Dunbar. It's so hard being him and being around such an irresistible boo-boo head like Ashli who said Trisha's redeeming qualities consist of "fun to party with" and if you've watched the show, inhibitions, and judgment are impaired when you've have 5 Long Island ice teas.
What strikes me most about the whole pathetic scenario is how Dunbar continuously acts like the situation, which he perpetuates, is such an emotional or mental quagmire he has no control over, and he loves Julie, loves Julie, loves Julie, loves Julie, loves Julie.
Oh, that CD's skipping, I think it's scratched, let me put on some Echo & The Bunnymen.
I think he just loves to say that he loves Julie or enjoys how the words just plop out of his mouth like kelly anne's sammich shrapnel. Let's sum up their relationship in one metaphorical moment., Dunbar talks to his girlfriend on the phone and says, "you made me yawn from around the world" after Julie yawned and she replied, "I have that effect on people".
And as we know he tried very hard to NOT have *** with Ashli by spooning, cuddling, grinding on her at clubs, and making out with her. He tried so **** hard. It's like **** is falling from the sky, he's warned about the ****, and he still walks out into it without an umbrella he says, "I tried not to get covered in ****, but it's so hard".
I will give Dunbar points on the lying about his bday to get hammered though, funny.
OKAY...back to the real meat anf taters of this episode
It was the night beforeChristmas, and all through the Real World house
not a creature was spooning with Dunbar. Not even his own reflection
in the double paned glass while shirtlessly pacing back and forth
through the kitchen to macro-tease Ashli while she makes a phone call,
but I'm getting ahead of myself.
Let's start over.
It's a rainy slumber filled, suitcase-wheeled type of morning (foreshadowing),
all of our beloved self-righteous dharma bums are groggy from a heavy day
of ostracizing and alienating Parisa, and then...
POW!!!
THWAP!!!
KAZOW!!!
Complete with Batman sound effects via Adam West. It's official, everyone's favorite, down to earth character has returned like a late DVD rental where you pay an exuberant fee despite the fact the movie is a flying, copious piece of **** an he's ready to set a few things straight, defend Parisa's good name, and tell it like it is. Isaac walks in, post-funeral (R.I.P Granddad), post-Trisha, and post-pseudo-emotionally driven spit fiasco involving Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dumberer. He sounds the bugle, the fog horn blows, the Ricola thingy comes to mind.
Man, where to start. Okay Isaac says what everyone watching the show has said since the beginning of this season's 1st episode, "Trisha sucked" and "Nobody liked Trisha". kelly anne tried to convince herself, tried to convince everyone else, clinging to her frail-minded justification for being a human Super Soaker, but finally realized (after the alcohol wore off I guess) that Trisha was like a drama filled cyst, the manipulating nucleus of a 3celled disease called Parisa-Hater-itus.
She was baffled with a mouthful of ham sammich. "MMmMrrf, you didn't like Trisha"?!? Yeah, so shocking, and "Soylent Green is made of people"!!! I can honestly say she's the most easily swayed person I've ever seen. Then, like the turncoat she is, she turns on Trisha after turning on Parisa which shows her convictions are as strong as her SAT scores. Ashli & Kelly Anne both follow what the dominant personality tells them. Isaac says touch your nose, Isaac says snort laundry detergent, Isaac says eat a charcoal brickette.
*INSERT INNUENDO ABOUT KELLY ANNE BEING A SPITTER HERE.
Now that Trisha is gone and everyone is slowing starting to understand that she was an unhealthy, car wreck of a person to have in the house, along with Chevron, Chauvon, Shavon, however you spell her moronic name. Seriously, when I heard the name I thought she'd be black, not to be racially biased, but c'mon. With that kind of name you have to be an old school, sassy black waitress who says "girl please" or "kiss my grits" (Alice). Actually, her ethnicity has little to do with it, but I'm talking about personality here people. That name is reserved for people who fit the bill, and have something to say, not a superficial butt stain who apparently needed constant encouragement and ego fluffing by rating her status on the beauty scale...6.
Isaac is still my MVP for this episode. The fishtank scene was hilarious, kind of like a cheeky Aquaman, and no one else has the balls or the charisma that he does.
