...because I'm thinking of you V1man.

Three paramedics were boasting about improvements in their respective ambulance team's response times.

"Since we installed our new satellite navigation system," bragged the first one, "we cut our emergency response time by ten percent."

The other paramedics nodded in approval. "Not bad," the second paramedic commented. "But by using a computer model of traffic patterns, we've cut our average ERT by 20 percent."

Again, the other team members gave their congratulations, until the third paramedic said, "That's nothing! Since our ambulance driver passed the bar exam, we've cut our emergency response time in half!"

A woman goes to Italy to attend a 2-week, company training session. Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.

The wife answers : “Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?”

The husband laughs says: “An Italian girl !!!” and winks. The woman kept quiet and left.

Two weeks later he picks her up in the airport and asks: “So, honey, how was the trip?”

“Very good, thank you.”

“And, what happened to my present?”

“Which present?” She asked.

“The one I asked for - an Italian girl!!”

“Oh, that” she said “Well, I did what I could, now we have to wait for nine months to see if it is a girl.”

HA! Touche! That's awesome.

I know right...too funny!

Sunday School:

Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping. "Tell me Mary, who created the universe?" When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "God Almighty!" shouted Mary and the teacher said, "Very good," and Mary fell back asleep.

A while later the teacher asked Mary, "Who is Our Lord and Savior?" But Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. "Jesus Christ!" shouted Mary and the teacher said, "Very good," and Mary fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, "If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!" The Teacher fainted.


Soo funny.

LoL good one D, but you know you're going to Hell now right???

Hahahaha...

That was a good one D!

I know. I thought it was really funny as well. I heard it and I couldn't stop but think that I would probably say the same thing.