how many cats do you have?

I have 4 that live inside (along with my two chihuahuas) and 1 that I adopted outside...
Mickey she is about 15 years old,
Squeaker 6yo
Boogie 4yo
Miumiu 9 months old
and the outside cat is named Sally she is about 4 or 5

oh and Killer who is 3
and Lola who is about to be 2

I have a problem when it comes to animals...I just want them all to have good homes, LOL

that's cool, stacee. i'm like that too but after Scooter and Alice, cats just simply run the f*ck away lol.

Ethical Behavior for Patients


1. DO NOT EXPECT YOUR DOCTOR TO SHARE YOUR DISCOMFORT
Involvement with the patient's suffering might cause him to
lose valuable scientific objectivity.

2. BE CHEERFUL AT ALL TIMES
Your doctor leads a busy and trying life and requires all the
gentleness and reassurance he can get.

3. TRY TO SUFFER FROM THE DISEASE FOR WHICH YOU ARE BEING TREATED
Remember that your doctor has a professional reputation to uphold.

4. DO NOT COMPLAIN IF THE TREATMENT FAILS TO BRING RELIEF
You must believe that your doctor has achieved a deep insight
into the true nature of your illness, which transcends any mere
permanent disability you may have experienced.

5. NEVER ASK YOUR DOCTOR TO EXPLAIN WHAT HE IS DOING OR WHY HE IS DOING IT
It is presumptuous to assume that such profound matters could be
explained in terms that you would understand.

6. SUBMIT TO NOVEL EXPERIMENTAL TREATMENT READILY
Though the surgery may not benefit you directly, the resulting
research paper will surely be of widespread interest.

7. PAY YOUR MEDICAL BILLS PROMPTLY AND WILLINGLY
You should consider it a privilege to contribute, however modestly,
to the well-being of physicians and other humanitarians.

8. DO NOT SUFFER FROM AILMENTS THAT YOU CANNOT AFFORD
It is sheer arrogance to contract illnesses that are beyond
your means.

9. NEVER REVEAL ANY OF THE SHORTCOMINGS THAT HAVE COME TO LIGHT IN THE
COURSE OF TREATMENT BY YOUR DOCTOR
The patient-doctor relationship is a privileged one, and you have
a sacred duty to protect him from exposure.

10. NEVER DIE WHILE IN YOUR DOCTOR'S PRESENCE OR UNDER HIS DIRECT CARE
This will only cause him needless inconvenience and embarrassment.

renaldo, your cats were named scooter and alice?? haha! i don't know why, but i find that so damned cute.


the only jokes that i ever laugh at are pretty damned off-color. so much so that i don't even want to post them here :x


BUT, ok here is a tame one. i've heard it from a few different people so it might be a popular joke, but in case some of y'all haven't heard it...


Two guys are out in the mountains hunting for game. They have been out all day long but haven't had great luck and are growing pretty exhausted. While hiking up a slope, one of the men falls to the ground clutching his chest. His eyes roll back and he passes out. The second hunter frantically tries to revive him, but when his attempts prove unsuccessful, the man uses his cell phone to call 911. When the operator comes on the line, the man screams in to the phone, "We're out in the woods, and my friend had a heart attack! He ain't breathing and I think he's dead! He's DEAD!!"

The operator says, "Sir, first of all, I need you to calm down. Don't panic. I will send a medical team to assist you, but the first thing we need to do is to make sure your friend is really dead." There is a pause on the line, then the operator hears a gunshot. The man comes back on the line and says, "Okay, now what?"




ohh.. and I guess I will share one of the less offensive dirty jokes I know:

An armed man walks into a sperm bank with a ski mask on. He goes up to the counter and points the gun at the woman there. He shouts at her, "Take me to the vault, NOW!"

Alarmed and bewildered, she says, "Sir, I don't know what you expect to find here!"

He screams, "I don't care, just take me to the vault!"

She replies, "Okay, okay, I'll take you to the vault. Just please don't shoot!" She leads him to the vault and unlocks the doors. There are rows and rows of refrigerated sperm specimen containers lining the walls. The woman says, "You see sir, there isn't anything in this bank but sperm samples!"

The man grabs one of the specimen cups, thrusts it at the woman and says, "Drink it."

"WHAT?!?" she says, wide-eyed.

"I said drink it!" he bellows, brandishing his gun.

"Okay, I'll do it! Just don't shoot me!" says the woman. She takes the cup from him and downs the sperm in one gulp. "There, I drank it!" she cries.

The gunman removes his ski mask and says, "See honey, it's not that hard."



uhh... my apologies if that offended anyone.

the first joke was better. i didn't quite get the latter

HER DIARY
Saturday night I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment.

Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk, he agreed but he kept quiet and absent. I asked him what was wrong he said nothing. I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry.
On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior; I don't know why he didn't say I love you too.

When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched T.V. he seemed distant and absent.

Finally I decided to go to bed, about 10 minutes later he came to bed and to my surprise he responded to my caress and we made love, but I still felt that he was distracted and his thoughts where somewhere else. I decided that I could not take it anymore so I decided to confront him with the situation but he had fallen asleep. I started crying and cried until I too fell asleep. I don't know what to do, I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.

HIS DIARY
Today the Lakers lost, but at least I got laid.

LMAO