Thread: The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons - The Perks of Being a Rookie

Guys, if you want to ***** about casting, or people who aren't on this challenge, or what production should've/could've done, do it in the open challenge thread. Enough of polluting threads with comments that have absolutely nothing to do with the topic at hand.

From here on out, any post in any Battle of the Seasons thread containing "JEK", "Johnny", "Kenny", "Evan", or anyone NOT ON THIS CHALLENGE will be moved to the open thread, and you'll be getting an infraction.

This week in reality TV we saw kind of sexy, mostly disgusting oil wrestling; a hilarious removal of an oil painting, and a budding affair on Survivor that is rooted in a shared love of snuggling and lack of self-awareness. But before we get to all that, this week, several members on The Challenge had the nerve to disrespect the competitive integrity of America's fifth major sport by throwing challenges, and as you can imagine, this didn't sit well with T.J. Lavin.

Camila (Battle of the Seasons, House), 50 points: Over the course of his BMX career, T.J. Lavin has broken nearly every bone in his body, been in a coma, and nearly died. When a man like this — a man that has sacrificed his body and almost his life — is put in charge of a reality TV show competition, he expects a certain level of effort.

This week T.J. was tasked with managing an oil wresting tournament on the beaches of Turkey — and you knew something was awry when Alton lost. First off, Alton is the greatest athlete that the human species has ever created. Second, Alton lost to Preston; Preston is like Rajon Rondo mixed with Prince mixed with Tek from Real World: Hawaii mixed with a stork. He has no business beating Alton at oil wrestling. Like I said, something was awry. T.J. saw this breakdown in competitive integrity before him and was so disgusted he couldn't even muster up one of his patented "I hate quitters" speeches. Instead, he just solemnly watched, shook his head, and blew his air horn to mark the end of each thrown match. Never has an air horn been blown with less enthusiasm. When Camila and Devyn walked into the oil pit and didn't even fake an effort, T.J. had had enough. Instead of the passive-aggressive guilting that T.J. usually doles out to quitters, T.J. looked both Camila and Devyn in the eye and unleashed the following tirade: "BLEEPing BLEEP BLEEP, you BLEEPing BLEEPs!" (35 points.) If I am not mistaken, this is the second time that T.J. has gone in on Camila for quitting in a challenge. It is a shame that the same Camila that had enough fight in her to argue with Frank (5 points) didn't have enough fight in her to satisfy T.J. Justly, she was thrown into the elimination challenge. Unjustly, she won (10 points).

The whole time she was throwing challenges I couldn't help but think, Johnny Bananas would have never let this happen. WHERE IS JOHNNY BANANAS!?

Devyn (Battle of the Seasons, ??), 35 points: I have watched every single episode of every single season of Real World. I have no idea who this Devyn chick that T.J. yelled at (35 points) is. None. She wasn't even drafted in our draft. I think she doesn't exist. I think she is a Tyler Durden–like figment of my imagination. Wait, that can't be true — if she were a figment of my imagination I would have imagined her hotter and with a better weave.

Trey (Battle of the Seasons, Connor), 20 points: What is it about the cast of Real World: St. Thomas that annoys me so much? Is it the fact that their season was so boring? That I haven't been given any time off from them to miss them? Or that they have terrible tattoos? Probably a combination of all three. But according to Trey, I am not alone. Trey had an off-brand teary emotional breakdown this week (20 points), exclaiming, "The people that are here don't talk to me. They don't trust me and they don't like me. It is very clear that we are next on the chopping block. Maybe I brought it on myself, I don't know, but they can paint me as a villain, it's fine, but I know how I am and it's really really hard." I know who you are, too, Trey. You're the dude that cheated on his (probably) pregnant girlfriend back home on national television. That is who you are.

Easy (Battle of the Seasons, Kang), 10 points: Big Easy won his second straight challenge (10 points), and heading into it announced he was going to win because "I'm not a *****." I wish just once that LeBron would open up pregame interviews like that. "Hey, LeBron, why do you think the Heat will repeat as NBA champions?" "Because we're not *****es."

Frank (Battle of the Season, Simmons), 10 points: Sure, Frank got into a fight with Camila because she was cheering on her teammates too loudly and and yelled at her, "Stop, they can hear you, stop!" (5 points.) Sure, Frank announced his control of the game, "Let's be real, I'm gonna run this show" (5 points). But how the hell did Frank not get slammered this entire episode? I mean, there is no way that Frank goes three days without getting slammered. They must have edited it out. Nothing else makes sense.

Knight and Jemmye (Battle of the Seasons, Lisanti and Jacoby), 5 points: Knight and Jemmye had one of the more twisted and entertaining relationships in Real World history. OK, fine, more like Top 50, whatever, but it even involved a classic episode with Knight getting flirty with Jemmye's mom. It was fantastic. Knight's attempt to rekindle this relationship did not go well (5 points):

Knight: "I miss my best friend, I miss the girl I love … "
Jemmye: "You [bleep]ed up, it wasn't me … "
Knight: "I know that, but how long are you going to tell me I [bleep]ed up for?"
Jemmye: "What you do can affect you the rest of your life."
Nobody knows that "what you do can affect you for the rest of your life" better than someone with a gigantic ****** tattoo.

via

I don't see much reason to believe that Frank is a big shot-caller in the Challenge, other than him claiming to be in a confessional. The show is full of people claiming to have more relevance than they actually do. He seems to be the most vocal, but I don't really believe that the rest of the alliance sat back and let Frank unilaterally decide who to put in the elimination round, after handing SD the win.

Zach seemed oddly neutered in the little scene where he tried to walk away from the group conversation with Trey, and was told to "sit his *** down" by Frank and Ashley. I expected him to have a bigger presence than he has thus far.

my thoughts as I watched the episode:


• Frank vs. Camila was hilarious
• I was okay with them throwing the challenge because I like watching alliances work together for some reason
• It was fun to see the vets scramble together (and I like the idea of a Gauntlet 4 in the future)
• Trey’s an idiot – and I totally agree with Marie (who showed she was there to compete) – he’s also a little *****
• I like San Diego except for Frank – so having him be his team’s leader was kind of obnoxious.
• I for some reason really enjoy Jonna as a challenge vet/queen (like Veronica or Coral) that knows how to run the game.
• I like that they can go out of the house – I remember for a while (I think up until Cutthroat) they were stuck in the house
• I really enjoy the Knight/Jemmye subplot – and LOVE Melinda shedding light on the situation
• Danny didn’t look like he cared as much as Melinda did haha
• I like Melinda so I wish she would have stayed around longer. I felt so sad when she said “they won” at the end of the elimination round
• I like Eric, I don’t know who agrees with me (and his line “I don’t give a *****, how about that?”)
• Cara Maria’s jersey got fixed


• Next week: Camila has a breakdown that can rival the Habanero Meltdown

Originally Posted by CzarEric

• Next week: Camila has a breakdown that can rival the Habanero Meltdown

Nothing will ever rival the Habanero Howler.

Originally Posted by CzarEric

my thoughts as I watched the episode:
• I for some reason really enjoy Jonna as a challenge vet/queen (like Veronica or Coral) that knows how to run the game.

That's a great point. She does have a bit of Coral/Veronica to her. She's definitely not someone that will allow the "game" to play her.