oh lol I nearly had a heart attack

The Ashli you are thinking of isn't even close to being cute enough for a celeb...skanky enough maybe, but not cute enough.

random judgement:


well, we all know that deadbeat dads suck. but if there already is a "preferred potential father" in the kid's life, why bother dragging this worthless guy into it even though he clearly wants nothing to do with the kid? if she wants child support money, she should take care of it through the courts. if she keeps trying to manipulate the situation herself, she'll probably just end up causing her son to have some unnecessary daddy issues by forcing the kid to have a relationship with a man who doesn't want him. just because this guy was the sperm donor, doesn't mean he should be involved in the kids life. from the sound of it, hes a POS anyway, and why would you want to intentionally bring a POS into a kids life?

i am assuming that the term "preferred potential father" means that the kid already has a man in his life who wants to act as a father figure. sounds like a better deal.

I took it to mean that there were 2 possible biological fathers and the one she actually would have preferred to have been the father tested negative. But hopefully the way that you took it is right, that he has a male figure in his life.

well, yeah, i guess i wasn't too clear about it, but i got that that's what she meant. but i'm saying that if they (she said "our preferred father," so i just assumed that "they" includes kendal and this other guy)--if they wanted the paternity test to turn out one way, and it didn't, thats no reason why the guy they wanted to be the dad can't just go ahead and be the dad anyway. it'd be better than having this other tool forced into the kid's life.

Hello Vevmo!

I love this site, and have been addicted from the first moment that I discovered it. However, this is my first post, as I preferred to soak up the community ambiance (which is fantastic, btw) before I dove in and started posting.

..(Holy Christ, I 'ust reread that last sentance, and I swear to god I didn't mean to "pull a Halstead" throwing "ambiance" in there...grrr, it's the only word that fits so I'm gonna let it stand. I swear that guy 'ust ruins everything)...

I really 'ust want to address this whole bio/non-bio Dad issue, as it's been a fairly important part of my life. It isn't really possible to substitute one "father figure" for another, even if the "perferred father" seems a better man (at least for now - 18 years of future behavior is hard to predict, especially when 100% biological children are added to the equation). First of all, medical issues are a nightmare...I cannot tell you how awful and embarassing it is to have to constantly say "I don't know my biological father" when asked. Additionally, when dealing with a serious and difficult to diagnose medical condition (as I have), a hint of 1/2 of your heredity is nothing short of a godsend.

"Perferred Father Substitution" is also tricky because...well...how/when (if ever) do you tell the child? It is a slippery slope indeed, fraught with deception, heartbreak, and feelings of betrayal when the child ultimately finds out that they have been lied to by EVERYONE in their life that they trust (think finding out that Santa doesn't exist X's about one thousand...it really sucks). I feel for the Mom's/non-bio Dads having to lie all the time as well...it's brutal.

Ack..this is already longer than I intended...thanx for still reading if you've gotten this far. I guess though that the length is testament to how complicated these situations are. What might seem an easy switcheroo probably won't stay that way...at least not in my experience...life usually is too unpredictable.

I guess that's why fully support kendall's actions...bringing it out into the open and not treating it (and the child) like a dirty secret. The bio-Dad is an ****ole, and is going to miss out on the greatest gift in life, that being the love from his son. However much the initial brutal-truth might hurt, it is much better that the family, the court, and (in this case) fans are able to resoundingly say "What a stupid ****at loser!" and give the child the gift of knowing that it is in no way his fault. It is amazing how insidious the feelings of worthlessness are when it is hidden...hard to explain, but I guess I tried to explain here. It's prob pretty obvious I feel strongly about this issue.

So! Thanx for reading this lengthy post...

Thanx Bacchus for creating vevmo!...

Thanx all of you that post and help create this refuge from the idiocracy that the net all too often is...

and, most importantly, thanx to the computer Gods for not booting me off my virus plagued laptop before I could post...woo-hoo!

Welcome minxie! You make some very good points, a couple which I had not even considered. Great first post!

Completely agree Minx. You said it much better than I could have.

I see nothing wrong with what Kendall is doing. Good for her!