I dated Evelyn since high school. Way before she way before she was ever on a corny little challenge show..k? And after two years we broke up because we didn't work. One month after we broke up she dated Brooke. I wanted to continue a friendship with Evelyn, but the truth is, she was a shitty friend and very cold. Brooke and I spoke online while they dated and we developed feelings for each other, and realized we were a better match than her and Ev, or me and ev. Now we are together, and I love her very much.

The Gauntlet III

MTV's The Gauntlet premieres this Wednesday, January 23rd. I will be on it. And yes, I am very proud of myself for setting foot on a Challenge!
If you watched my season of The Real World, you would know that I am not athletic, not competitive, and not interested in doing anything dare-devil scary. So for me, just forcing myself to go on the Challenge was HUGE. And I am very satisfied with my experience there.

During my time on the challenge, I will be representing all the scaredy cats in this world-- all the people who hated P.E. in school--- all of the men and women out there who would much rather just read a book than pummel someone with a stick. I will be representing all the girly girls out there who hate ruining their manicure, and hate even more the hot humid weather that makes it nearly impossible to keep your hair tamed.

I will also be representing anyone who has ever questioned their sexuality-- even if not until later on in life. I may have more to say on this subject as the show airs, until then, I'm not going into it much. But just to say: Yes, it happened. No, I don't regret it. And in my opinion, this kind of thing happens more frequently than people think. It's nothing to be ashamed of, it just is what it is. Human nature. And human sexuality is complicated. I'll leave it at that.

So anyway, here's to a great season of The Challenge!!! It's going to be a freakin awesome season! ENJOY!

Peace & Love,
Brooke

Originally Posted by Katiedid

Speaking of Brooke, is she still with Jen do we know?

JEA-LOUSY

Jealousy. Look at the work again: JEA-LOUSY. See the word "lousy" in there? Interesting, because that's exactly what jealousy makes you feel like.... lousy.

I often wonder if this unpleasant human emotion is the real root of all evil. I mean, they say it's money, but if you look beyond why the reason money would be the root of all evil, you will see that it's actually the jealousy involved that makes money so evil. Think about it.

In looking at my history with jealousy, the first thing that comes to mind is growing up as a young girl, dealing with other girls.

I've never been a particularly jealous girl-- I wanted other girls to feel good about themselves and what they possessed-- and if I did find myself feeling jealous or envious, I would try and imagine that I could maybe have those same things, too. Then the jealousy would subside. It was harder to do this as a younger girl; it's something that becomes easier with age to do. In general, dealing with jealousy becomes easier with age. But I won't lie, occasionally I do find myself eaten up with jealousy about a certain something someone else has that I don't-- and it feels rotten. But I try my very best to deal with the feeling appropriately.

Now, in describing my troubles with jealousy on the other side of the equation-- meaning girls who were jealous of me-- I have had a much harder time dealing. I have this issue, this problem, where I just want everyone to be pleasant all the time. I don't know why I do this. It's not fair. I need to learn how to cut people more slack. I mean, no one should be on their best behavior all the time. But when they're not, I become very disappointed. And there are certain things that I have a harder time tolerating than others. One of those is jealousy from other people. And worse, when they won't admit it...I have always been one of those girls/women that has fallen victim to other girls/women being jealous of me. It sounds sooooo obnoxious to say that, I know. But it's true. (And if you are familiar with my blogs on here, you know that I don't sugar-coat anything because it's my space to vent. So either accept it or get out.) Anyway, I am one of those women other women love to punish because they are jealous. It sucks. But it is what it is. There's nothing I can do about it, except just try to balance a "still being true to myself" attempt with a friendly, "i-am-nice-don't-hate-me" approach. Sometimes, I get quite sick of this approach. I mean really, I could just be like one of the many stuck-up ****hes who basically reek of "tough shit, ****h. you think i'm better? well good, because i AM better!" Yuck. I could never be like that. For one thing, I DON'T think I'm better, but also; I care way too much about other people's feelings. I want people to like me. I do. So I know that with women, not all women, but many women, you have to play it smart: you have to give them the whole friendly, "i-am-nice-don't-hate-me" approach.

Now let's delve into the even more frustrating issue: jealousy in love relationships. Simply put: it ruins people's relationships. If you don't have maturity or trust in your relationship, you will fall victim to this jealousy disease. Even mature, trusting relationships can waiver from time-to-time. But it's all in how you handle it. I know this much: If you are jealous in a love relationship, the best thing to do is to admit it. Just do it. Say it. "I'm jealous. I'm jealous because..." And you will feel better. Chances are that your partner has been jealous, too, and it will open the lines of communication for you to work your the relationship kinks. Now, I'm not saying that admitting you are jealous is the easiest thing to do. It's not. It sucks. It's a blow to your pride, it shows vulnerability. But it's necessary. If you want a successful relationship.

What still boggles my mind, though, is when one person cannot seem to control it. When they have admitted they are jealous, when they have worked on it, and they're still falling for it over and over and over. Why does this happen? Is this person just an "eaten-up with jealousy" type of person who will always be this way? Or is it the other person's fault-- what if they are provoking it? Or is this just a matter of no self-control? Or is the relationship just doomed? I wonder. I would love an answer. Anyone got one? I mean, do I really need to downgrade my provocative myspace page, stop wearing FMPs, and quit being a witty conversationalist? Do I really need to change things about myself—things that I actually really like! --- In order to help that certain someone deal with their jealously issues? My instinctual answer is: HELL NO. But maybe I am wrong. And maybe it's a bit of a compromise. I'm not sure.

Peace & Love,

Brooke