What was the last challenge you were asked to compete in? The Ruins-Thailand (I’m not sure which number that was) I think there was one I was asked to do after the Ruins, but I don’t remember.
Do you have any interest in coming back? Eeehhh. I don’t know. Certainly not when ppl put more value on camera time than having a soul . If you're an interesting person, you don't need to fake shit. Don't get me wrong; the show isn't scripted. With that said however, there are some who've done challenge after challenge and know exactly how to 'play the game,' specifically for screen time. There are some ppl who do the challenges that are fake as fuck; legitimately having zero ambition to make something of themselves in life. Whether they wanna call it just 'playing the game,' or whether their home lives truly suck, there's no excuse for being a shitty person.
Who from your Real World season do you still talk to? I chit chat here and there with Will, Kim, and Nick. I saw Will over a year ago when he was visiting Philly. Nick, I talked to a while ago, just catching up. Kim and I keep in touch through Facebook occasionally. The relationship I have with her is one that I'm not only surprised about, but surprisingly thankful for. Despite the shit we all went through on the show, she was a main one who actually grew from the whole ordeal. It's wonderful to see how her experience has visibly changed her perspective of others. It takes a strong person to admit when they're wrong. I've never, ever felt like Kim was a bad person. She, like the rest of us, just had to grow. She's a beautiful person, inside and out, and I'm blessed to know her.
Any special moments with Joey or great things about him that wasn’t shown? Joey had the ability to make anyone smile. He consistently put others before himself. This, I believe, was an underlying reason behind a lot of his problems. I had so many deep talks with him. I think everyone did at one point or another. I remember him telling us a story about his friend 'Earthquake' that had us laughing so hard we couldn't breathe. The same things about Joey that were so unbelievably captivating, I think, were the same things he never recognized within himself. He had a lot of demons. It still breaks my heart that no one was able to save him. He was a truly remarkable person.
Did the Ruins push you away from MTV or make you want to do more? Let me start by saying how UNBELIEVABLY grateful for the opportunity Bunim-Murray gave me. I had an amazing time and shared a once in a lifetime experience that most people don't get. The Real World is far different than the challenges. With RW, it's everyone's first time experience. The challenges are often composed of minimal newbies. Fans usually watch specifically for the veterans. Many veterans know how to play the game as far as entertainment goes. That's why they keep coming back. This is one thing that definitely made the challenges less appealing to me. Oh, and the blatant bullshit.
With your season being highly-rated & highly regarded by longtime viewers as being one of the best in the show's history, why do you think your season has basically gotten the "cold shoulder" in regards to the Challenges? I don't really think it's so much Bunim-Murray's doing. I think it has to do with the fact that our season was the only season that all of the roommates actually had goals. Our main purpose for coming on the show had to do with each of us pursuing entertainment based careers. Some of us dabbled in the challenges, but it didn't stick. Others totally swore it off from the gate after finding out early what they were about. I don't think a single one of us would ever be content with being known for life as 'that washed up chick or dude from the real world.' Honestly, myself and many of my cast mates, as far as I know, are doing great things with our careers today; even those who didn't end up doing their dream job. Surprisingly, despite living in Hollywood for a couple months, we all kinda figured out how to separate reality from reality TV!
Do you and Kimberly still keep in contact? What has your relationship been like with her since Hollywood aired? I sporadically communicate with everyone from my season, except for a few people. I'd have to say, out of everyone, she might have been the one who grew the most from the experience. She's since admitted that upon entering the house, many of her opinions were closed minded and unfair. We all had the chance to grow. Some didn't, sadly. We were all given the opportunity of a lifetime and I still feel as if some of our roommates never respected that. Though Kim and I don't talk often, the times we do are really special. She's one of the few roommates that I've opened up to about what I went through after the show (And believe me, I've been through some SHHIIIIIITTTT.) None of my issues changed her opinion of me. She's always uplifting and kind with her words. She's one of the best people to reminisce with! She recalls specific details about our time in the house, some of which I've totally forgotten, and after every conversation, I find myself laughing hysterically, in tears, missing everyone! I never thought my relationship with her would be where it is today. We're planning on getting our kids together sometime in the near future! I'm happy to call her my friend. ️
On the Ruins, what champions did you get along with? I pretty much kept to myself. There wasn't really anyone who I didn't get along with. I mean, I'm polite to everyone I meet, unless you give me a reason not to be. There are a handful of ppl I really liked. There are also those who, I feel, are fucking trifling as fuck. There are some who, I feel, have incredibly low self esteem and need attention. There are those who feel like, in order to be 'relevant,' they have to put on a show in front of the camera. The Challenge wasn't really what I had expected, in the fact that there was a lot of hurry up and wait. You'd think we're having the time of our lives; how it looks on TV, but there's a lot of unnecessarily long downtime. Conflict easily erupts when people ain't got shit to do other than drink and think of ways to be extra unnecessary.
Would you do a Hollywood reunited season? In a freaking heartbeat, yes. I have one reservation though. I'd want to be with everyone. Dave, Will, Kim, Greg, Sara, Brittini, Nick... and Joey. It wouldn't be the same without Joey. He always added something special to the mix. Despite his internal conflicts, of which I tremendously relate to, he had a certain light within him. It didn't matter who it was, he was always so great at making you smile. We're not the same group without him. Especially not the OG's.
Do you still pursue music? Yes! I've been working with an awesome company for a little over a year now. We perform as a band at different venues, primarily in NJ. As far as my solo career, I still write, but the past decade has opened my eyes up to the possibility of other career paths I've grown an interest in.
What was your music career like? My single 'Summertime,' that I recorded while filming The Real World, did phenomenally well for my very first song. On iTunes alone, it hit #1 and stayed at #1 for a while. My very first album; a self-titled EP, peaked at #4 for a bit as well. I couldn't believe it when it happened. It was one of the best feelings I've ever experienced in my life. Universal Motown decided to pick up 'Summertime' and I began getting calls from people saying that they heard my song on the radio, in stores, on jukeboxes at different restaurants and bars, and so many other places. It was surreal when I actually heard 'Summertime' on the radio. After doing The Ruins, I put out a second album; a full length LP entitled 'Fireworks at the fairground,' but unfortunately, that one didn't do quite as well as the first. The label I worked with though, Chamberlain Records, was awesome. They introduced me to the industry. I met and worked with phenomenally talented people and I'm beyond grateful for the opportunity they gave me.
Obviously your single Summertime was relatively successful, but your debut album didn't appear to get much advertisement. Was this because of a bad record deal, or what? My debut album did pretty good actually! My second album, not so much. I can only speculate, but there was a far greater amount of press behind my first EP, as opposed to my second LP.
Kim said you were the most open minded one out of the entire cast, how do you think your RW experience help you grow as a person? I'm still the same person as far as how I treat others. I guess I really respected and cherished the whole experience. Maybe a little more so than everyone else. I got my foot in the door regarding my singing career, so that entire experience definitely helped me grow as an individual and an artist. I don't jump to argue or fight as quickly as I used to, but that's not because of RW. That's mainly because I don't want my 6 year old son thinking that type of behavior is appropriate...or that his mother is an easily agitated lunatic! I haven't danced in almost 7 or 8 years. That's not because Kim and Sara gave me shit about it. It's also not because I've 'grown up' or I 'respect myself' more now. That's just dumb. I've always respected myself. Far more than the silly people who talk shit on dancers or those who are convinced that dancers/dancing is 'beneath them.' Dancers get paid A LOT to dance. I've learned that anyone who runs their mouth about dancers is either-
A: horribly insecure B: secretly yearning to have the confidence/self esteem to do the job (and probably will eventually become a dancer once they pull the tampon outta their asses. That goes for men too) C: got their feelings hurt by a dancer that only wanted their money/their significant other cheated on them with a dancer D: are ashamed to admit that they often get naked FOR FREE while grossly inebriated, and I do mean GROSSLY. Eeew. What kinda self-respecting person would do that shit? Kidding. Continuing, as to why I stopped dancing, I, stupidly, got involved with a person who was making bad choices. I got pregnant and gave birth to an amazing little boy. Then, as these stories usually go, I began making bad choices. I became a heroin, crack, and cocaine addict. I had to make an overall decision as to what was more important. Not everyone who dances has a tainted past or comes from a broken home. Not everyone who dances is involved with bad things or bad people. The majority of dancers aren't shit people. Of course, no matter where you go, you will always have one or a few bad apples who spoil the bunch. In getting my shit on track, I had to remove myself from anything or anyone that could be even slightly negative for me. My son is literally the reason why I breathe. I would NOT be alive today if I didn't have him. That's a fact. I later met a great guy. He helped me remember the woman I used to be and made me recognize everything that I could become. My growing, I guess, took place after The Real World. I'm thankful that my life has, so far, turned out for the better.
Favorite behind the scenes moment? We were in Cancun and our guide, a Shaman from the local Mayan village, brought us down into a dark cave. It was, I kid you not, pitch fucking black and we had to maneuver our way over rocks and uneven ground. When we finally stopped walking, the Shaman shushed us. It was so quiet, the only sound you could hear was the calm stream and the trickle of water down the cave walls. Suddenly, out of nowhere, came the echo of an EARTH SHATTERING fart. Maybe it was because of the cave, but it was the loudest, wettest fart I’ve ever heard. I literally peed on myself, I was laughing so hard. When the lights came on, I noticed that Will had a troubled, embarrassed look on his face. I knew he did it as soon as I heard the fart. His expression only made the other roommates, myself, and everyone else, including the Shaman and our camera crew, laugh even harder. I don’t know what type of shit he ate or what the hell he was breathing in, in that cave, but his silly ass had been nonstop, cracking jokes all day. As soon as the lights turned on, upon seeing the beautiful, blue, crystal clear, fresh water cenote in front of us, Dave proceeded to get booty hole naked, ready to jump in the water-whether we were given permission to, or not. Will, of course, ended up naked as well, and, if I remember correctly, I’m pretty sure Nick did too! I must say, naked cannonballs are far better than clothed ones. There were so many memorable moments that were never shown. It was really disappointing.
How has becoming a mother changed your life? My son has been the biggest positive influence in my life. He’s helped me approach situations more calmly and rationally. I hold my tongue in many situations where I would have flipped before. He’s been the number one motivator behind my success in my sobriety. He’s the main reason why I’m still alive today. I never thought I’d have children. Now that I have one, I want more!
Does your kid know about your MTV past, and if so what does he think of it? My son knows that Mommy has been on TV. He knows the names of the shows I’ve done, but he’s never seen an episode of RW or AI. I’m not worried that he’d think differently of me after watching my season of RW. I’ve always told him that even though I’m his Mommy, I’m human and I make mistakes. He’s well aware of my past issues with drug addiction. Honesty is incredibly important in our relationship. I always tell him that in order to solve a problem, you must first admit that you have one. While he doesn’t comprehend the full extent of the battles I’ve fought and continue to fight, he does understand that, to me, giving up isn’t an option. I always tell him, ‘Having courage doesn’t mean that you’re unafraid. Courage is acting in spite of your fear.’ I don’t think there’s much I could do that would shock him. He loves coming to watch me perform. He always gets ppl out of their seats, dancing. He also sings with me all the time at home. He definitely received the gift of song. There aren’t many six year olds who can sing the melody of a song, consistently, while someone else is harmonizing. He’s brilliant.
Do you still ever watch the Challenge? Any favorite cast members? I honestly was never a big Real World or Road Rules fan. The last season I actually watched, other than my own, was RW-Las Vegas. I have friends that watch the challenges though. Of the numerous past roommates I’ve met, there are many that I really like. It’s funny actually. People get false impressions after watching these types of shows. There are many people that I didn’t care for while watching a couple episodes of RW or RR, that I absolutely adore in person. It’s very hard to get an accurate impression of someone based off of a couple hours of edited footage.
What conditions or theme would make you want to do another challenge? If I could bring my son with me, I’d do another challenge in a heartbeat. I know a bunch of past roommates have said the same.
What’s a day in your life like? A day in my life is fairly uneventful. That’s a good thing. During the week, I’m a stay at home Mom. I love that I have the ability to be involved every part of my son’s life; sports, play dates, school. Being able to do these things means the world to me. My mom raised my sister and I on her own, with help from my grandparents and a few neighbors. She worked constantly. There wasn’t much space in her schedule for her to be involved in our school activities. She’d always help with homework, but when it came to activities or the PTA, she didn’t have the availability. She always regretted not having the time. That’s why I’m so happy that I do.